


The Bathroom at the End of the Math Hallway

by glasshalfempty (orphan_account)



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy, Halsey (Musician), Melanie Martinez (Musician), My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, F/F, Frerard, High School AU, KIK, M/M, Mild Angst, Public Blowjobs, Public Sex, Smut, brallon, enjoy what i finished before I gave up, guess what kids this fic is discontinued sorry not sorry, high school!au, i apologize for the inconvenience but im fucking done with bandoms BYE, joshler - Freeform, lots of swearing, petekey, public handjobs, text chat, time 2 fix these godawful tags again
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-26
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-16 08:05:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 36,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5820676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/glasshalfempty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Josh hated Mondays, and Brendon was an ass.</p><p>or alterntely, the fic where everyone gets freaky in the same bathroom in a week</p><p>or alternately, the fic that made me hate myself ayyYYEEEE</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Monday

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to start this off by saying that this was originally going to be a short joshler one-shot where they fuck in the bathoom at school and somehow along the way it blossomed into this monstrosity
> 
> also, who spent a week writing 8k words of hardcore sin? I spent a week writing 8k words of hardcore sin and I have #noragrets
> 
> shoutout to hot liz who inspired the origial idea for this fic and in result is responsible for this terrible mess, periodicallybleeding who inspired all of the texting dialogue with her fic "Kik", cora from whom I stole the phrase #poundtown, and payton, without whom this fic would never have gotten past the first sentence
> 
> please enjoy this disgusting garbage child of mine and leave a comment when you have finished thank you and godbless

Josh loved Mondays, and Brendon was an ass.

Okay, so Josh didn't actually love Mondays. In fact, he kind of hated them. Getting out of bed early sucked, and trying to ignore the remnants of whatever hangover he had from Friday or Saturday night and focus on school and life was really shitty. But Josh loved Tyler, or more specifically, the way Tyler's ass looked when he wore those leggings of his, and Tyler almost always wore his leggings on Mondays, so Josh loved Mondays.

Mondays actually kind of sucked because he had his first class with Tyler, which was a major distraction, and Brendon, which was a major pain in the ass. Brendon knew that Josh had a thing for Tyler-- _just_ Tyler's ass, he insisted whenever the familiar smirk that signaled Brendon was about to start teasing him crept its way onto his face--and loved to let the entire world, including Tyler himself, know about it.

Therefore, Josh actually hated Mondays, but alas, he still rolled out of bed when his alarm went off at 6:45. He climbed into the shower and promptly fell asleep until about 7:30, snapping awake only when his brother banged on the door and shouted at him for wasting all the hot water like an ass. He got dressed and brushed his hair in record time and was out the door by 7:45, which was still quite a bit later than he would have liked. Thankfully, he had his own car, so he drove the fifteen minutes it took to get to school in ten and made it through the doors by 7:55.

His first class was Lit, which was thankfully only down the second hallway so Josh didn't have that far of a walk. He didn't know what he would have done if he had gotten stuck with math as his first class like Patrick had, all the way at the other end of the building. He without a doubt would have been late for class every day and in result would have had a lot of unnecessary detentions on his record.

He groaned as he walked through the doors and promptly spotted Brendon, who was talking to Melanie Martinez a little ways down the hall. He tried to slip past the pair without Brendon noticing him, but unfortunately, his plan was foiled when Mikey Way skipped past him and loudly shouted, "Hey, Josh!" Josh groaned as Brendon's head whipped around, having heard Mikey's yell, and his face broke into a grin as he abandoned his conversation with Melanie and ran to meet Josh.

"Morning, Jishua," he greeted him as he not-so-subtly slapped him on the ass. Josh rolled his eyes.

"Morning, asshole. Y'know, I'm kind of surprised you're even out here right now. Don't you usually have your hands down Dallon's pants this time of the day?" He replied, growing irritated when Brendon didn't so much as flush.

"Nah, today we're saving that for second period," he answered breezily, and Josh cringed.

"Oh God, please spare me the details." He quickly checked his phone. "We've got two minutes left till class starts. We should probably go."

"Ugh. Fine." Brendon threw an arm around Josh's shoulder and swept them off to Lit.

They managed to make it inside the classroom just before the bell rang. They both shot friendly nods to Gerard and Frank, who were also in this class, and Josh's heart skipped a beat when he saw that Tyler was sitting in his usual spot in the back corner. To Josh's utter disappoinment, he wasn't wearing his leggings today. Josh noticed Brendon lick his lips as his eyes flicked across the room to Dallon for half a second and smirked to himself. No matter how much Brendon teased him about Tyler, Josh knew the truth. Brendon was just as thirsty as he was.

Josh took his seat on the other side of the room in front of Dallon as Ms. Roth, their teacher, swept through the door, looking flustered. Her hair was falling out of its usual messy bun, and she quickly pushed her glasses further up on her nose as they began to slip down.

"Sorry I'm late, guys, I had to print off a bunch of rubrics that I forgot to do on Friday and then Mr. Dawson started talking to me, and you all know how he gets." She rolled her eyes, and the class murmured in agreement. Brendon and Josh shared a look; Ms. Roth gossiped about their other teachers pretty often, and she was so laid back that she often seemed more like one of their peers than their teacher. She was almost everyone's favorite teacher, for good reason.

The both quickly focused their attention on the front as she clapped her hands together. "So! Today we're starting another partner project, and before any of you start deciding who your partners are going to be, I'll have you know that after the fiasco that was our last partner project--" she shot a glare at Brendon and Gerard, who smirked "--I have picked your partners for you in advance." She paused for complaints before continuing, "Since we have recently been studying the Odyssey, for this project, you and your partner will be researching a Greek deity of your choice and presenting a poster or powerpoint on them. Like I said, I have rubrics for you all--" she snapped her fingers at Jack Barakat, who quickly stood up and began passing out the rubrics "--so once those have all been passed out, I'll tell you your partners. I expect these to look professional, and not include any 'battle scenes' this time." She put finger quotes around "battle scenes", and Gerard let out a loud snort.

"C'mon, Miss, can you stop bringing it up? I swear we didn't know!" He complained, and she frowned as the whole class snickered. Josh shot a glance at Brendon, who smirked; for their last project, Brendon and Gerard had partnered up and had "accidentally" put a picture of an ancient Greek orgy on their powerpoint. They both insisted that they hadn't known, but Josh knew that it had been completely intentional. Brendon had sent him the picture the night before the project was due and asked if Josh thought he could get away with putting it on one of their slides.

"Of course you didn't, but let's not make the same mistake again this time, okay, Mr. Way?" She asked, and Gerard grinned and saluted her.

"Will do, Miss."

She nodded and turned back to the board, satisfied, and the second her back was turned, Gerard made a very obscene motion involving his hand and his mouth. The class stifled a laugh as Ms. Roth turned back around, holding a list.

"Alright, settle down. Here are your partners--"

She began reading off names, and Josh zoned out until he heard--

"--Jack and Alex, Ryan and Spencer, Josh and Brendon--

Josh smiled at Brendon, who stuck his tongue out at him. Ms. Roth continued reading down the line of names.

"--Gerard and Frank, Joe and Andy, Tyler and Dallon--"

Josh couldn't help but shoot Brendon another look. Brendon smirked and leaned back in his chair, stretching his arms over his head an yawning hugely. Out of the corner of his eye, Josh saw Dallon shift in his seat, and rolled his eyes. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, and once Ms. Roth had turned back to the board, he pulled it out and hid it under the desk.

_Kik: 2 new messages_

mother joseph: these two i s2g

mother joseph: homeboy dadlon is #thirsti

Josh stifled a laugh and quickly typed a reply.

jishua: ifkr I can literally see bren's boner from here jfc

He quickly turned his phone off and tucked it back into his pocket as Ms. Roth turned back around. "--and I think that's everyone," she announced. "If I forgot you, speak up and we can throw you in with another group." When no one said anything, she took a deep breath. "Alright, get with your partners and start making a research plan, then. I'll be at my desk if any of you have any questions."

There was a flurry of papers and chairs scraping against the tile floor as people hurried to sit with their partners. Josh wasn't surprised when he and Brendon ended up sitting in a circle with Tyler and Dallon. He and Tyler shared a glance as Brendon plopped his chair as close to Dallon's as he could and pulled his laptop out of his bag, setting it on the desk and opening it. He leaned over Dallon's lap to type something in, and Josh stifled a laugh as he heard Dallon's breath hitch ever so slightly.

Tyler cleared his throat. "Not to be a cockblock, but can you guys save it for when I'm not sitting right next to you?"

"Nope," Brendon responded, not shifting his position, and Dallon blushed.

"Bren." He nudged Brendon's side, and with a sigh and an eyeroll, Brendon sat back in his seat. Tyler pulled out his phone, and a second later, Josh felt his own vibrate again.

_Kik: 1 new message_

mother joseph: theyre so gross eww I cannot

_jishua is typing..._

jishua: they need to keep the thirst to a minimum ffs

"Are you literally texting each other about us while we're sitting right in front of you?" Brendon accused, eyes narrowing as he glared at the two of them.

"Yep," Tyler deadpanned without looking up from his phone, and Josh snorted.

"That's so gay," Brendon sighed, and Tyler finally looked up.

"Says the one who's literally giving his boyfriend a lapdance right now," he shot back, and Brendon tipped his head.

"Touché." He shifted over until he actually was in Dallon's lap, and Josh cringed.

"Brendon, oh my God, save it for the back of the library," he complained. Brendon smiled cheekily.

"C'mon, Josh, you know we're not that classy. We do it in the bathroom," he said, and promptly yelped as Dallon pushed him off of his lap onto the floor.

Josh's phone buzzed again as Brendon started whining about how rude Dallon was, and he laughed to himself as he saw that Tyler had created a group chat on Kik.

_mother joseph has created the chat **brendon is an ass 2k16**_

_**mother joseph has added jishua, dadlon, beebo, geebee, oreo, st. patty, milky way, Peter, and crybaby to the chat** _

_mother joseph is typing..._

_geebee is typing..._

_oreo is typing..._

mother joseph: guys brendon is being gross and I don't like it

oreo: I can literally see his boner from here oh mygdo

geebee: frank same omg

geebee: did dallon actually just push him onto the floor imcrying

_st. patty is typing..._

_Peter is typing..._

_crybaby is typing..._

st. patty: TYLER

st. patty: WHY IS YOUR NAME MOTHER

_mother joseph is typing..._

mother joseph: I am your mother

mother joseph: you are the fruit of my womb

mother joseph: from a young age you suckled from my teat

mother joseph: respect me my children

Peter: I do not want to hear about brendon and dallon's sex life while I am learning about the birthing process of a pig

oreo: pete the fuck kind of class are you in jfc

Peter: biology now all of you fuck off

crybaby: what are those thirsty hoes up to now

_mother joseph is typing..._

_jishua is typing..._

_beebo is typing..._

_dadlon is typing..._

mother joseph: brendon is trying to give dallon a boner

jishua: it's apparently working and I'm very traumatized

beebo: tyler oh my gdo we're literally two feet away from you

dadlon: can all of you just fuck off

mother joseph: whOa dadlon is salty today

jishua: DALLON WE'RE NOT THE ONES GIVING EACH OTHER HANDJOBS UNDER THE FUCKIN TABLE

_crybaby is typing..._

_oreo is typing..._

_st. patty is typing..._

_milky way is typing..._

oreo: wow fuxjing savage josh

milky way: ohshit everybody get outta the way josh is on fire today

st. patty: like my mixtape AYEEE

oreo: patrick can u not

crybaby: guys you're not gonna believe what ashley frangipane just said to mr. chantler

_beebo is typing..._

_geebee is typing..._

_milky way is typing..._

_jishua is typing..._

beebo: oh my god guess what melanie nobody fucking cares

geebee: did she take her pants off bc that's the only way I'll give a shit tbh

milky way: ugh I fucking hate her she's such a bitch

jishua: what did she do

_crybaby is typing..._

crybaby: she did almost take her shirt off if that makes it any better gerard

_beebo is typing..._

_mother joseph is typing..._

_milky way is typing..._

_geebee is typing..._

mother joseph: ooh mel I bet u loved it

beebo: get some u thirsty hoe

mother joseph: how many times did u nut

beebo: this is a psa melanie wants to do the Succ™ on ashley's tittays mmmhmm get somme

_crybaby is typing..._

milky way: I am friend with so many sinners

jishua: @ mikey same rip in peace

crybaby: tyler shut the fuck up we all know you could bust that nut just from looking at josh's face and brendon do I even have to bring up the fact that you've been doin the succ on dallon's actual donger for almost a year

Josh felt his face flush. He glanced up at Tyler, whose cheeks, to his relief, were also tinted pink.

_oreo is typing..._

_st. patty is typing..._

_beebo is typing..._

_Peter is typing..._

_milky way is typing..._

_dadlon is typing..._

_jishua is typing..._

_geebee is typing..._

st. patty: FUKC

Peter: that's it I'm deleting my kik

st. patty: MY PHONE ACTUALLY JUST CAUGHT ON FIRE HOLY SHIT THAT WAS FUCKIN SAVAGE

beebo: oh deer I do believe i just got rekt in my delicate anus this has been a tragic

geebee: CHRIST MELANIE

oreo: ALL HAIL THE SALT QUEEN

milky way: mr. alton just asked me why I keep muttering "sinners" at my phone jfc y'all are goin str8 to hell

mother joseph: mELANIE PLEASE HE'S SITTING RIGHT NEXT TOME

jishua: @ tyler ;))

_**mother joseph has left the chat** _

_**beebo has left the chat** _

_**dadlon has left the chat** _

Josh snorted a laugh and looked up from his phone. As usual, Brendon wasn't phased; in fact, he almost looked proud of himself. Dallon, on the other hand, was bright red with embarrassment. He glanced at Tyler to see that his face was still lightly flushed, the pinkish tint looking nice on his cheeks.

"Is that true?" Josh asked with a smile, pleased with himself when Tyler flushed darker.

"Of course not, fuck off," He mumbled, shoving Josh's arm with one hand. Josh smiled and prepared to let the subject go, but Brendon of course had other plans.

"Don't play stupid, Tyler," he sighed, dramatically flipping his hair out of his eyes. "Go ahead, tell Josh how much you want to make love to his sweet, sweet face."

"Jesus Christ, Brendon, go suck a dick," Tyler grumbled, and Josh laughed lightly as Brendon looked offended.

"Excuse me, I would never."

Dallon gasped. "And I thought we had something." They all laughed as Brendon placed a hand over his heart, looking wounded.

"Dallon, babe, you know I didn't mean it," he swooned, batting his eyelashes delicately, and Dallon just rolled his eyes.

"Can we just get on with this stupid project, please? I'd like to actually pass this class."

\---

The rest of first period passed uneventfully. The four of them worked until the bell rang, thanks to Dallon's insistence, and to Josh's surprise, Brendon managed to keep his groping to a minimum. By the time the class had ended, the four of them had actually outlined what their projects were going to be about, and Josh and Brendon had set a time to meet up the next day after school to do more research. Josh was quite proud of them.

When the bell rang, they gathered up their things and made their way to their next classes, Gerard and Frank tagging along. Tyler, Dallon, and Josh had a study hall with Gerard, and Frank and Patrick had one of their own. Brendon had Calculus with Melanie.

"I just don't understand why we still have to take a math class senior year," Brendon complained as they walked back to the main hall together. Tyler stuck his tongue out smugly at him.

"Ha, ha, sucks for you. Have fun solving boring equations while we talk about your sex life in the group chat," he sang, and Dallon whacked his shoulder as they walked into their classroom.

"At least I have a sex life!" Brendon called as he turned down the math hallway. Josh and Tyler smirked as the rather non-PG rated look he shot Dallon failed to go unnoticed.

"Dallon, I can safely say that I have no idea why you stay with him," Gerard sighed as he clapped Dallon on the shoulder. Dallon smiled easily and rolled his eyes as they took their seats.

"Sometimes I don't either," he sighed, "but then I remember how nice his ass is, and I'm like, 'oh, yeah, that's why'."

"Dallon!" Josh groaned as Tyler and Gerard burst into laughter. "Jesus Christ!"

"Just telling it how it is," he said breezily before raising his hand. "Mr. Maron, is it okay if I go to the library today? I have a bunch of research I need to do for a paper I'm writing."

"That's fine, Dallon," Mr. Maron answered without looking up, and without another word Dallon stood back up and swept out of the classroom. Josh, Tyler, and Gerard sat in stoic silence until the door swung shut behind him completely, when they all burst into giggles.

"How bad do you think his sex hair is gonna be when he gets back?" Gerard asked around a laugh.

"Not as bad as Brendon's," Tyler countered, and Gerard rolled his eyes.

"How many times do I have to tell you that Dallon bottoms?"

"How many times do I have to tell you that you're a fucking idiot?"

"Tyler's right," Josh cut in. "Brendon totally bottoms."

"Thank you, Jishua," Tyler said smugly, before turning back to Gerard. "See? Josh agrees."

"Does anyone else know that they're off to do the do?" Gerard asked, and Tyler smiled slyly.

"Why don't we tell them? They deserve to know."

"Guys, please," Josh whined, but he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and knew it was too late.

_**geebee has added mother joseph, dadlon, and beebo to the chat** _

_mother joesph has named the chat **#dallons getting laid 2k16**_

_mother joseph is typing..._

_geebee is typing..._

mother joseph: breaking news everyone dadlon is taking brebnob to #poundtown

_st. patty is typing..._

_oreo is typing..._

_crybaby is typing..._

st. patty: tyler that's not news did u see the way they were eyeballing each other this morning I felt so violated

oreo: tyler we literally just watched brendon give dallon a lap dance in class to get him hard this isn't news

_mother joseph is typing..._

mother joseph: yes I know but it's happening Right This Very Second so it is in fact breaking news

crybaby: brendon's in my class and he just walked out saying he had a headache and I feel so sneaky knowing that he's actually about to go and take it up the ass :')

crybaby: should I follow him and snoop in their personal life

_milkyway is typing..._

_oreo is typing..._

_st. patty is typing..._

st. patty: of course

st. patty: is that even a question

oreo: melanie what class are you in

_crybaby is typing..._

crybaby: calc

crybaby: i think they're in the bathroom omg

crybaby: they are

crybaby: i took the hallway pass and I'm outside the door what should I do

crybaby: it's locked fuCk

st. patty: melanie please

oreo: dadlon's gettin laaaid

milkyway: our son is all grown up :')

_Peter is typing..._

_oreo is typing..._

_mother is typing..._

oreo: mikey shut the fuck up ur like 12

mother: mikey calm down ur still in diapers

milky way: shut the fuck up I'm 16 im practically a Grown Adult

geebee: nah

oreo: no mikey ur still 12

milky way: I could literally have a child right now if I was straight enough to put my dick in a girl

geebee: @ mikey shut the fuk up you are t w e l v e

Peter: can y'all fuck off I'm taking a test

_crybaby is typing..._

crybaby: ofc you are peter ;))

_oreo is typing..._

_st. patty is typing..._

oreo: wHat is that supposed to mean

st. patty: i am intrigued melanie what are u speaking about

_Peter is typing..._

Peter: melanie nO

_crybaby is typing..._

crybaby: ;))

_mother joseph is typing..._

_st. patty is typing..._

_oreo is typing..._

mother joseph: melanie do tell

oreo: melanie pls

geebee: mELANIE

st. patty: pete are you and mikey finally doing the do bc if you are thank fuCking god it has been too long of a wait

_crybaby is typing..._

_Peter is typing..._

_milky way is typing..._

_mother joseph is typing..._

Peter: nn o oh mygod shut Up

crybaby: ;)))))

mother joseph: use a condom

st. patty: don't get any on your shirt

geebee: guYs that is my Baby Brother canwefuckingnot

milky way: guys we're not fucking oh my god stop im 12

Peter: yeah seriously guys it's not going to happen

mother joseph: yeah right that's like saying brendon isn't going to be walking funny tomorrow

mother joseph: it's inevitable

_Peter is typing..._

Peter: tyler I will fight you

milky way: melanie how do you know pete isnt taking a test

_crybaby is typing..._

crybaby: I have eyes everywhere

crybaby: I've set up cameras in every room in this school

_oreo is typing..._

_geebee is typing..._

_mother joseph is typing..._

geebee: I wouldn't be surprised tbfh

oreo: I think you might actually be serious

mother joseph: in that case can you please send us all the link to the camera that is currently filming dad and brebnob bc gee and I can't agree on who tops

_crybaby is typing..._

_oreo is typing..._

crybaby: are you kidding me dallon totally tops it's obvious

oreo: there's no need dallon clearly bottoms

_crybaby is typing..._

_oreo is typing..._

crybaby: ok frank first of all I will fucking fight

_geebee is typing..._

_Peter is typing..._

_milky way is typing..._

_mother joseph is typing..._

st. patty: guys pLEASE

milky way: guys no my small virgin eyes

mother joseph: guys there is a 12year old in this chat

geebee: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL U GUYS THAT DALLON BOTTOMS

_oreo is typing..._

oreo: ;)))))))

_st. patty is typing..._

st. patty: melanie are you still by the bathroom

crybaby is typing...

crybaby: no I went back to class as soon as I heard somebody moaning "fuck, babe, harder"

_st. patty is typing..._

_mother joseph is typing..._

mother: oHMyGOd

st. patty: mELANIE NO

geebee: it was totally Dallon

mother joseph: nah son not today #brendonbottoms2k16

_milky way is typing..._

milky way: where the fuck did Pete go

_mother is typing..._

_oreo is typing..._

_crybaby is typing..._

mother joseph: good point

mother joseph: PETE

oreo: PETER

mother joseph: PETER LEWIS KINGSTON WENTZ THE THIRD FINISH BUSTIN THAT NUT UP MIKEY'S SAUSAGE POCKET AND COME TALK TO US

_milky way is typing..._

_Peter is typing..._

milky way: I'M LITERALLY THE ONE WHO ASKED WHERE HE WAS I WOULD'NT HAVE DONE THAT IF HE WAS FUCKING ME JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

Peter: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU GUYS THAT I'M NOT FUCKING MIKEY OHMIGOD

crybaby: tyler don't be such a fucking cockblock jfc

_mother joseph is typing..._

mother joseph: coming from the bitch who followed brendon and dallon to the bathroom to listen to them have sex smh

_milky way is typing..._

_st. patty is typing..._

_oreo is typing..._

_geebee is typing..._

_Peter is typing..._

_crybaby is typing..._

oreo: o shit

milky way: tyler don't poke the bear you idiot wyd

geebee: tyler u better fuckin run while u still can

st. patty: #livingforthedrama

Peter: tyler whatever she says to you I just want you to know that you deserve it bc you are a piece of garbage

crybaby: hey ty I got you that thing you asked me to get during christmas break

_mother joseph is typing..._

mother joseph: wat

mother joseph: I don't know what youre talking about

_crybaby is typing..._

crybaby: yknow

crybaby: that THING

mother joseph: waIT NNO H

mother joseph: I JUST REMEMBERED

mother joseph: MELANIE ADELE MARTINEZ DONT YOU FUCKIGN DARE ILL FUCKING SET YOU ON FIRE AND LAUGH AS YOUR CORSPE BURNNS

_crybaby has sent a photo to the chat_

_milkyway is typing..._

_oreo is typing..._

_geebee is typing..._

_st. patty is typing..._

_Peter is typing..._

_jishua is typing..._

_mother joseph is typing..._

Peter: TYLERWHATTHEFUCK

st. patty: TYLER MICHAELANGELO JOSEPH THAT BETTER NOT FUCKING BE WHAT I THINK IT IS

geebee: TYLER IS THAT A FUCKIN BUTT PLUG

geebee: TYLER PLEASE TELL ME THAT IS NOT A FUCKING BUTTPLUG

oreo: MELANIE YOU BETTER BE JOKING THAT BETTER NOT ACTUALLY BE TYLER'S THERE ARE 12YEAROLDS IN THIS FUCKING CHAT

jishua: wait is there a picture of my face glued to that butt plug or am I going crazy

milky way: *banging two pots together* NONE OF YOU ARE FREE FROM SIN NONE OF YOU ARE FREE FROM SIN NONE OF YOU ARE FREE FROM SIN 

mother joseph: goodbye everyone I'll remember you all in therapy

mother joseph: also fuck you melanie

_**mother joseph has left the chat** _

\---

The rest of second period passed uneventfully, after the ten minutes Tyler took to loudly inform Josh and Gerard that it most certainly was a joke, and that, no, he did not own any other buttplugs, and that, no, there definitely wasn't a picture Josh's face glued to the handle and what were the even talking about again? Josh and Gerard nodded along in agreement whole time, but as soon as Tyler had finished his piece and had turned his attention to his homework, the two had exchanged a very meaningful look that said, "Yeah, okay". For the next twenty minutes, the trio worked in comfortable silence, all of them trying very hard not to imagine what Dallon and Brendon were getting up to in some secluded corner of the building.

That secluded corner happened to be that bathroom at the end of the hallway by the math classrooms. It was at the very end of the last hallway in the school, so hardly anyone used it. It was quieter than the library and way more secluded than the bathrooms by they guidance counselor's office, so it was where Dallon and Brendon had chosen to be their meeting spot. In almost an entire year of secret hookups, not once had they gotten caught in the bathroom at the end of the math hallway.

After Dallon had slipped out of study hall under the premise of going to the library to do some research for a paper, he quickly made his way through the main and science hallways and headed down math. Brendon was probably already there, hard and waiting for him with his pants around his ankles, and that thought along motivated Dallon to quicken his pace.

The door clicked shut softly as Dallon slipped into the bathroom. He had barely turned around when a pair of hands grabbed his waist and roughly pushed him against the wall. He let out a startled grunt that quickly turned into a laugh as a pair of lips hungrily nipped at his own.

"Someone's eager," he mumbled lightly as Brendon's hands began to roam up and down his sides, taking in as much of Dallon as they could. Brendon groaned and drew back, and Dallon was satisfied when he saw that Brendon's face was already flushed.

"Missed you," He muttered breathily, and Dallon laughed, capturing Brendon's face between his hands. He traced his thumb under Brendon's eye, and Brendon leaned into his touch, fingers digging into Dallon's sides.

"It's only been three days, Bren." As he said it, Brendon closed his eyes and sighed.

"I know, but homegirl gets thirsty. Mama's gotta have it at least twice a week or mama dies of dehydration."

Dallon laughed and said, "Please shut the fuck up," before leaning in again.

The kiss was deep, slow, and everything the pair had been waiting for. Brendon whimpered as Dallon traced his lips with the tip of his tongue, and when Brendon granted access, Dallon took advantage, dragging his teeth along Brendon's bottom lip. Brendon gasped, hips involuntarily thrusting forward against Dallon's thigh. He squeezed Dallon's sides tighter, fingernails digging into his skin even through the fabric of his shirt. Dallon's hands slid down Brendon's neck and shoulders to the tops of his arms, pulling him closer until he could feel every possible inch of Brendon pressed up against him. Brendon's hands snaked around to untuck Dallon's shirt from his jeans, and Dallon hissed as Brendon slipped his cold hands under his shirt and scraped his nails across the flushed skin of his back.

"Bren," he murmured, and Brendon let out a hushed groan in return. Dallon's eyes slid shut. God, he'd missed this. His lips trailed down the side of Brendon's neck, and he bit the junction of his shoulder, earning a breathy moan.

"So--" Dallon asked between kisses, "do you know--who saw you leave--your classroom?"

"Just Melanie," Brendon gasped as Dallon's teeth grazed the side of his neck. Dallon paused, rolling his eyes.

"Well, isn't that's just fucking fantastic. I'd bet you any money she's standing outside the door right now listening to us."

Brendon raised an eyebrow and thought about this. "Probably." Suddenly, he threw his head back and let out a loud moan. "Oh, fuck, babe, harder! Harder! Ugh, ugh, put your fat cock in me, please--"

"Brendon!" Dallon whisper-shouted, trying to stifle a laugh. "Shut the fuck up! Someone's gonna hear!"

"That's kind of the point." Brendon pecked a quick kiss to Dallon's lips. "She's probably back in the classroom already. She acts like she has to know everything, but she's not actually gonna stand here and listen to me getting fucked, y'know?"

"Is that what you want to do today?" Dallon asked, hands hooking under Brendon's arms. "Get fucked?"

Brendon considered this as Dallon started sucking more hickies into his neck. "I was actually kind of thinking that I'd like to blow you today."

Dallon bit down harder than he had intended to in surprise, and Brendon shivered, gasping, "I mean, if that's good with you."

"No, definitely not. You absolutely cannot suck my dick, Brendon," Dallon smiled against the delicate skin of his neck, and he felt Brendon's Adam's apple bob as he swallowed.

"Y'know, it's pretty hot when you whisper sweet nothings to me as you fucking destroy my neck," he mumbled, and Dallon snorted a laugh.

"I'll try to do it more often," he retaliated as he pulled the collar of Brendon's shirt to the side and traced his tongue over his collarbone. He lightly sunk his teeth into the skin, more gently this time. Pulling his mouth away, he raised a hand and traced the forming love bite with the pad of his thumb.

"Pretty," he stated plainly, and when Brendon's eyelids fluttered, he smiled. Even though he had never specifically said anything about it, Dallon knew that praise was a bit of a thing for Brendon, so he made an effort to slip it in whenever he could. "So pretty. Gorgeous. Beautiful."

Brendon groaned, the sound echoing around the bathroom. "Oh my God, shut up. You know what that does to me."

"That's kind of the point." Dallon brought his lips to Brendon's ear and whispered, "Gorgeous. Flawless. So fucking good."

"Dal--" When words failed, Brendon's hands did the talking. His right hand removed itself from beneath Dallon's shirt and slipped in between their bodies while his left slid beneath the waistband of his pants and cupped his ass. With his other hand he began to palm Dallon through his jeans, and _oh, fuck._ Dallon let out a moan of his own, almost louder than Brendon's, and Brendon smirked.

"Dallon! Keep it down! Someone might hear!" He mimicked Dallon's words from earlier, and Dallon lightly shoved his shoulder, trying not to laugh.

"Just shut up and keep going, you ass."

Brendon did as he was told without question. His hand slipped out of the waistband of Dallon's jeans, and he was on his knees in an instant, trained fingers unbuckling Dallon's belt. Within seconds his pants were around his knees, and Brendon was mouthing wetly at Dallon's cock through his boxers. Dallon's head fell back against the wall with a thud as Brendon's lips traced his bulge, eyes falling shut as he breathed in the sensation.

It was when Brendon began to tug at the waisband of his boxers that Dallon remembered. "Wait." His hands gripped Brendon's shoulders and pulled him to his feet. He pulled him into a kiss, pressing his lips to the corner of Brendon's mouth and mumbling, "I forgot to lock the door."

Brendon laughed before leaning to the side and clicking the lock without taking his eyes off Dallon's face. He was back on his knees quickly, pulling Dallon's boxers down until they had joined his pants in a bunch around his knees. Brendon swiftly took half-hard cock in his hand and pumped a few times until it was fully erect, before leaning forward and slowly tracing the slit with the very tip of his tongue.

  
Now, if there was one thing Dallon prided himself in, it was his ability to tease. On more than one occasion, he had pushed Brendon to the breaking point, only to back off at the last second just to watch Brendon suffer. He liked it. He liked having that kind of power over somebody, watching them be reduced to the most primal state by nothing than his own hands and mouth. He loved to push Brendon to the edge over and over, just to see how far gone he could get. On one occasion, Dallon even managed to drive him to tears.

Dallon was good at teasing. But if Dallon was good, then Brendon was a fucking master.

It was probably because Dallon couldn't handle teasing very well. He didn't like to be teased; he wasn't submissive at all, and Brendon knew it. Brendon wasn't into it like Dallon was, didn't get off on it the way Dallon did, so he didn't do it often, but when he did, Dallon knew that he was completely, totally, and utterly screwed.

Today, it was evident that Brendon wasn't going to be nice. Using his hand, he stroked Dallon's cock one more time before moving in with his mouth, only to duck to the side at the last second and place a chaste kiss on the top of his thigh. He quickly peppered light kisses across the bottom of his stomach in a straight line until he reached the edge of Dallon's hip, where he sank his teeth into the skin. Dallon gasped, thrusting forward helplessly, but Brendon's hands quickly reached up to pin his hips down to the wall, preventing him from finding any relief.

"Bren--Bren, I--"

"I want you to beg for it," Brendon said, his voice muffled as his lips pressed against Dallon's thigh. "I want you to beg like you made me do last week."

Dallon closed his eyes, cursing himself. Of course. Brendon wouldn't be doing this out of nowhere. He didn't like begging the way Dallon did. This was simply Brendon trying to get back what little masculinity he had left. This was revenge.

He knew that Dallon hated begging, but fuck, he was still going to try and make him do this anyway. Dallon gulped and said breathlessly, "Bren--Bren, we're short on time today--"

"Okay. If that's the way you want it to be," Brendon replied, and to Dallon's horror, he abruptly released his hips and started to stand up. Dallon's eyes flew open, and his fingers scrabbled forward, seizing at the front of Brendon's t-shirt.

"No, no, Brendon--Bren, you have to--"

Brendon chuckled. "I don't have to do anything. If you want it, beg for it."

Dallon sighed. If this was what it was going to take today, then so be it. "Please, Brendon. Please--please suck my dick. Please make me cum. Pl-lease," his breath hitched as Brendon sank back down to his knees. "Please don't stop. Please let me finish."

Dallon gasped as Brendon's lips slid around the head of his cock, his tongue lapping lazily at the underside of his dick. His mouth was hot and wet and so, so perfect, and Dallon knew he wasn't going to last very long. He grabbed a handful of Brendon's hair and pulled, enjoying the little whimper that the action produced. He sucked in a heavy breath as Brendon slid further down on his shaft, tongue working wonders on his erection. "So perfect," he sighed as Brendon hollowed out his cheeks. "Love your mouth so much, Bren. So beautiful. God--" He groaned as Brendon's tongue traced his slit. "--shit, so fucking good."

Brendon's answering groan sent little vibrations along Dallon's length, and he bit his lip to hold back the flurry embarrassing moans that were threatening to flow forth. He settled instead for repeating a mantra of "so good" and "beautiful". His gut twisted as Brendon's hand tightened on his hip, pulling him closer in order to take as much of Dallon as he could.

It was when Brendon's other hand drew up to hold his balls that Dallon knew he was done for. He gasped and breathed, "Shit, Bren--Bren, I'm gonna--"

To his utter shock, Brendon quickly released him and pulled off. Dallon let out an agonizing cry as the orgasm that had been building up melted away, leaving nothing but an uncomfortably hard boner in its place. Brendon quickly stood up, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand, and pecked a chaste kiss on Dallon's cheek.

"Sorry to cut things short, but I've gotta dash. Places to be. Besides, you've got some research to do for a paper, don't you?" He smirked, and just as Dallon began to catch on to what was happening, Brendon was gone, the door swinging shut behind him.

Dallon was floored. For a few moments he could do nothing but blink, his mouth gaping as he considered what had just happened. _Oh, that little fucking shit._

If anyone had bothered to walk into the bathroom at that moment, they would most likely have been scarred for life by the sight of Dallon Weekes, glasses askew, pants around his knees, dick hanging out, leaning against the wall and panting like he'd just run a marathon. He remained there for a good five minutes, head spinning as he tried to figure out what had just happened.

Obviously this was Brendon's idea of a joke. Make him beg for it, get his pants off, take him to the very edge and then just leave him there. Dallon scowled, unable to believe that he had just been one-upped by the actual queen of thirst, who could barely exert enough control over himself in public to not make Dallon cum, much less when they were naked and alone together.

Outside, he heard a flurry of footsteps and voices walk past, and the threat of people walking in and finding him like this snapped him out of his stupor. Fuming, he quickly zipped up his pants, muttering profanities under his breath as he grabbed his bag and walked out of the bathroom. How the hell was he going to make it through the rest of the day without anyone noticing this fucking hard on? More importantly, how dare Brendon Urie think he could be such a tease and not expect to have to face the consequences like the little bitch he was?

Because Dallon knew what he was going to do now. Brendon might have one-upped him this time, but by the end of the week, Dallon would be back in control. Everything was going to be friendly between them--friendly, and that was all. He wasn't going to touch Brendon, speak to him, or even look at him until Brendon came crawling on his knees and begged for Dallon to do something. Maybe then, and only maybe then, would Dallon take him back.

Okay, that last part was bullshit. Dallon wasn't even sure that he could hold out as long as Brendon could, much less longer, but shit, he was going to die trying.

 _That's what he gets_ , Dallon thought smugly as he walked back into Mr. Maron's classroom to be greeted by the stunned faces of Tyler, Josh, and Gerard. _Two can play this game, Mr. Urie._

\---

Josh was making good progress on his Spanish homework when he felt his phone begin to vibrate in his pocket once more. He groaned as he pulled it out and opened Kik, and yep, sure enough, the group chat was going crazy again.

**crybaby has added mother joseph to the chat**

crybaby: oh mygod guys brendon is back

_oreo is typing..._

_milky way is typing..._

_geebee is typing..._

_mother is typing..._

_st. patty is typing..._

_Peter is typing..._

oreo: well that was fuckin fast

milky way: frank oh my god nO

oreo: dallon doesn't seem like a five second man but hey we learn something new every day

geebee: why the fuck did that take such a short amount of time I was expecting them to be gone until lunch

st. patty: mel does he have sex hair

_crybaby is typing..._

crybaby: yes

crybaby: and

crybaby: he also has a pretty big hickey on his neck

_oreo is typing..._

_milky way is typing..._

_jishua is typing..._

_Peter is typing..._

_st. patty is typing..._

milky way: VIRGIN EYES MELANIE

milky way: VIRGIN EYES

st. patty: good shit good sHIT MMHMMMM

Peter: patrick pl. E ase

oreo: homeboy been deep throatin that long donger and we all know it

jishua: why am I friends with so many sinners ffs

Josh's conversation was interrupted as the door swung open, and in walked a flustered-looking, very obviously hard Dallon. His glasses had slid down to the tip of his nose, his shirt was untucked with the top button undone, and his lips were red and swollen. Josh tried to look anywhere but at Dallon's boner, which was clear as day even through his jeans. He glanced to the side and noticed that Tyler and Gerard were doing the same.

"Dallon! Did you get your research done?" Mr. Maron asked, evidently not noticing the disheveled state Dallon was in. Dallon frowned, glaring at the side of Mr. Maron's head.

"I didn't quite finish," he stated coolly, and Josh glanced at Tyler to see if he had picked up on the double meaning to Dallon's words. If the way Tyler bit his lip to hold in a laugh was any indication, then, yes, he had.

Dallon slipped back into the same seat behind Josh that he had been earlier, burying his head in his arms as soon as he sat down. Josh felt his phone vibrate again and groaned. A quick glance at the screen confirmed his suspicions.

_mother joseph has changed the group name to **#dallon actually didn't get laid 2k16**_

_oreo is typing..._

_geebee is typing..._

_crybaby is typing..._

oreo: wHaT

crybaby: is he back too??

geebee: he is and it's true

_mother joseph is typing..._

mother joseph: if that Long Donger he's still got going on is any indication, then no, dadlon did not get laid today

crybaby: brendon what did you do

crybaby: or, I guess, what didn't you do

_beebo is typing..._

beebo: ;))))))))))))))))

_geebee is typing..._

_oreo is typing..._

_st. patty is typing..._

_jishua is typing..._

_mother joseph is typing..._

_dadlon is typing..._

_Wait. Dallon is typing?_ Josh looked up to see that Dallon had taken his head off of his arms and had pulled his phone out, and was currently typing away.

oreo: brendon u little shit

geebee: i don't blame you if dad never touches you again

geebee: also unrelated but where the fuck are my brother and pete

st. patty: who cares

st. patty: brendon when did you get so fucking savage that you wont even let dallon finish

jishua: really brendon that's just cruel

mother joseph: what I want to know is how does the thirstiest motherfucker on this planet have enough self control to pull that off

mother joseph: I am in awe my friend

beebo: cmon guys im not that thirsty jfc

dadlon: I don't know what you guys are talking about. I was in the library.

_oreo is typing..._

_st. patty is typing..._

_beebo is typing..._

oreo: OH

oreo: FUCKING SWERVE

st. patty: THE LEVEL OF SALT IS UNREAL

beebo: ohh deery me I do believe i just got rekt up the anus so hard my stomach ruptured i cri

_crybaby is typing..._

crybaby: what were you doing in the library dallon?

crybaby: ;;)));))

_dadlon is typing..._

dadlon: um

dadlon: I was doing research for a lit project I have to do?

dadlon: what do you guys think I was doing

_oreo is typing..._

_crybaby is typing..._

_st. patty is typing..._

st. patty: DADLON IM CRUING YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKIGN SAVAGE ICANT

st. patty: BRENDON YOUR ASS JUST GOT ROASTED ON A FUCKING SPITFIRE GRILL I AM DEATH

crybaby: we're so sorry dallon. we weren't trying to imply that you were doing anything inappropriate or something like that.

oreo: YES WE FUCKING WERE

oreo: YOU AND BRENDON WERE DOIN THE DO IN THE BATHROOM IN THE MATH HALLWAY DO YOU DENY IT GOOD SIR

_dadlon is typing..._

_mother joseph is typing..._

mother joseph: #livingforthedrama

dadlon: guys oh my god are you kidding me I would never fuck brendon he's like my best friend that's so weird

dadlon: I've never fucked brendon, and I never will

_**beebo has left the chat** _

_geebee is typing..._

_oreo is typing..._

_crybaby is typing..._

_**mother joseph has added beebo to the chat** _

_jishua is typing..._

_st. patty is typing..._

_milky way is typing..._

_Peter is typing..._

crybaby: OHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCK

oreo: HGJAKSDFW;Q2O8T]52OIQw;e

oreo: SCREAMING

mother joseph: MY PHONE LITERALLY JUST CAUGHT ON FIRE

jishua: DALLON OH MY FUCKING GO D

crybaby: YOU GUYS BRENDON JUST FELL OFF HIS FUCKING CHAIR IM ACTUALLYCRYING

geebee: MIKEY WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN

milky way: NONE OF YOU ARE FREE FROM SIN NONE OF YOU ARE FREE FROM SIN NONE OF YOU ARE FREE FROM SIN NONE OF YOU ARE FREE FROM

Peter: AND THATS MY CUE TO #DEACTIVATE

st. patty: I AM DELETING MY KIK

st. patty: THAT WAS BY FAR THE SICKEST BURN IN HISTORY

_dadlon is typing..._

dadlon: ??? I'm literally just telling the truth???

_**beebo has left the chat** _

_**mother joseph has left the chat** _

_**st. patty has left the chat** _

_**oreo has left the chat** _

Josh turned off his phone and looked up at Dallon, who was grinning smugly at his screen. Gerard was having a coughing fit in his seat, red hair flopping across his forehead as he choked, and Tyler was looking at Dallon like he had just suckerpunched his grandma. His eyes were the size of the moon as he gaped at Dallon with an expression of pure, undiluted awe.

"Is that your tactic then? Friendzone him until he comes crawling back on his knees?" Josh asked, and Dallon grinned dirtily at him, confirming his suspicions.

"That's so fucking savage," Tyler whispered, and he attempted to perform some kind of bow to Dallon from his seat. Dallon winked at him and glanced back down at his phone.

"Brendon has sent me a private message," he announced sarcastically, his lips curling up at the corners. Tyler and Josh shared a look as Brendon opened the text.

"Babe. Can we talk?" Dallon deadpanned, and immediately shut off his phone and dropped it into his bag, causing Gerard, who was just beginning to regain his breath, to erupt into another fit of coughing. Tyler and Josh began to laugh as well, and even Dallon, who was still in some obvious discomfort, managed to crack a smile.

"Remind me to never piss you off," Tyler commented, and Josh nodded in agreement.

The bell rang suddenly, signaling the end of second period, and they quickly scrambled to gather up their things and head to their third class. Josh and Gerard parted ways with Dallon and Tyler, who had psychology, to go to strength training. Third period passed uneventfully, and after showering, Josh and Gerard headed to lunch. Monday was Josh's favorite day for lunch because it was the only day of the week where everyone was in the same lunch. He and Gerard promptly ran into Patrick and Melanie in the doorway to the cafeteria, and the four quickly ran to save their usual table in the back corner of the room.

Lunch was a shitshow. As soon as he walked in, Brendon placed his water bottle on the spot next to Dallon's lunch box, but as walked to the line to get a plate of mini-tacos, Tyler and Frank quickly sat on either side of Dallon to block Brendon out. Josh sat across from him, at Tyler's insistence, and any whining that Brendon did was completely made up for by the expression on his face when Dallon grinned innocently at him from his surrounded spot at the table. Grumbling, Brendon grabbed his water and sat on the end next to Mikey, who was chatting animatedly to Pete about some T.V. show or another. The group exchanged friendly conversation as they ate, save for Brendon's occasional bitching and Dallon's sharp, snarky comments. The time passed quickly, and before they knew it, lunch was over, and it was on to fourth period.

For Josh, the second half of the day sucked. He had physics by himself, and for his last class, American History with Patrick and Frank, neither of whom he was very close to on his own. He sat through the classes quietly, and when the day ended, he made his way to the parking lot, waving goodbye to Gerard and Mikey, who parked near he did and were heading home as well.

He was the first one home. He threw his books onto the chair in the corner of the living room as he walked to the kitchen to make himself a snack. He turned on the T.V. as he crunched on the Cheez-Its and fished his phone out of his pockets as Spongebob played in the background.

_Kik: 1 new message_

Josh's eyebrows furrowed. His phone must have gone off while he was in the car without him noticing. He quickly opened Kik and blinked in surprise as he saw who had texted him.

mother joseph: hey :)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feel free to slam dunk my ass into the garbage can where it belongs please and thank you
> 
> random fun fact: Brendon and Gerard putting an orgy on their powerpoint was inspired by real events that happened in my history class. don't trust fuckboys with powerpoint presentations
> 
> also, if this fic is generally well-received I will add a sixth bonus chapter with a surprise ship at the end so like it up motherfuckers
> 
> next chapter should be up within like the next couple weeks or something? idk I'll try


	2. Tuesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what's this? 9k more words of sin and garbage 2 days earlier than I said I would even consider updating? yep you're right it is
> 
> firstly, I would like you all to know that writing this second chapter is the fastest I have ever written anything, ever, and it was all because of you. I survived these past five days on nothing but pretzel goldfish and your amazing comments, some of which made me actually cry out of happiness. you guys have been so nice and supportive, I honestly didn't expect anyone to like this shitshow of a fic as much as you all did but you did so here's an update 2 days early
> 
> secondly, I'm going to take a moment to annoy the shit out of everyone and do some self-promo. I have an Instagram, which is about as organized and well-put together as this fic, and my username is @gl.asshalfempty. you guys should go follow, literally all I do is talk shit about Brendon Urie and provide sort-of updates on this fic so I guess it's pretty rad
> 
> thirdly, there is no thirdly. enjoy chapter 2 you fucks

If Monday was bad, then Tuesday was total hell.

Josh had stayed up texting Tyler until well after one in the morning, and five measly hours of sleep later, he was paying dearly for it. It was worth it, though; there hadn't been one lull in the conversation all night, and now Josh had something to talk to Tyler about today. He was still exhausted, however, and although is first alarm went off at 6:45, but he wasn't out of bed until 7, and he almost fell asleep in the shower again, saved only by his siblings all ganging up outside the door to serenade him with a very loud, very off-key rendition of Dierks Bentley's What Was I Thinkin'. Once he was out of the shower, he quickly got dressed, grabbed a breakfast bar, kissed his mom on the cheek, and headed out the door.

Josh was lucky that the radio in his car worked. He cranked the music up to ear-piercing volume to keep himself awake and munched on his breakfast bar as he drove to school. As he pulled into the parking lot, he noticed out of the corner of his eye that Gerard and Mikey, who parked a few spaces down from him, were standing by their car talking to Frank.

He exited the car and walked towards the trio, who looked up as he approached. Frank smiled and nodded, clapping him on the back as he joined the circle, and Gerard and Mikey offered tired smiles of their own before looking back at their phones.

"Morning, Jishua," Gerard yawned, and Josh smiled.

"Late night for you guys too?"

Mikey sighed. "You can say that again." He was texting someone, and if the way his entire face was frowning was any indication, it was not a pleasant conversation.

"Josh, did you get any of that stupid Lit project done?" Gerard asked, oblivious to his little brother's dilemma, and Josh shook his head.

"Other than outlining who we're gonna research, we've got nothing. Dallon was a little too busy "doing research in the library" to do any _actual_ research yesterday, in case you didn't notice," he replied, and Frank cracked a smile.

"I still can't believe Brendon managed to pull that off," he commented, and the others nodded in agreement.

"Dude, I know. Brendon's literally the thirstiest person we know, I don't know where he pulled all that self-control from," Josh agreed, and Gerard sighed.

"Oh, well, it'll all blow over soon. One of them's gonna crack eventually, so at least we won't have to put up with all this shit for too long," he inputted.

"True," Josh agreed. "They'll probably be fucking again by the end of the week."

"Nah, I give it 'til next Monday. Dallon's gonna want to draw out the dry spell for as long as he can, but the weekend's always hard on both of them, and even Dallon's only human," Gerard amended, and they all nodded.

"Probably true," Frank agreed, rubbing his hands together and jumping up at down. "Ugh. It's so fucking cold out here. I swear to God my balls are literally inside my body right now."

"How pleasant," Mikey grimaced. "Do you wanna head in?"

"Better than staying out here and freezing our tits off," Frank shrugged, and the four of them trudged towards the building.

As soon as they passed through the doors, Josh was greeted by the smirking face of Brendon Urie, which was never a pleasant sight this early in the morning. "Hey, Josh, old buddy, old pal, old friend," Brendon sang as he skipped to meet him. Josh rolled his eyes, wondering what this could possibly be about.

"I don't have any money on me right now, Brendon," he anticipated, but Brendon shook his head.

"That's not what I'm here for today, my dear Jishua," he smiled coyly, and Josh's eyes narrowed.

"Dude, you're scaring me," he said. "What's going on?"

Brendon's expression shifted to one of innocence. "Have you seen Tyler yet this morning?"

"Um." Josh squinted at Brendon. "No?"

Brendon grinned before promptly turning around and sprinting off in the opposite direction. "Brendon! What the fuck?" Josh called after him in frustration. He turned to Mikey, who shrugged as if to say "fuck if I know". Mikey suddenly glanced over Josh's shoulder and apparently spotted someone important amongst the sea of people trying to find their classes. He muttered a quick goodbye to Josh, Frank, and Gerard before stuffing his phone in his pocket and speed-walking towards whoever it was he had seen. Josh threw his hands in the air, giving up, before announcing, "I need to go to my locker. You guys can head off to Lit without me."

Gearard and Frank agreed, and the three of them parted ways at the intersection that connected all the hallways together. Josh headed down the science hallway where his locker was, and Gerard and Frank walked together into Ms. Roth's classroom.

When he reached his locker, he groaned. Melanie was standing there, wearing a knee-length aqua blue skirt and a long-sleeved pastel pink top paired with some brown combat boots. Her hair was drawn into two oppositely-colored ponytails, and when she spotted Josh, her face lit up with a gap-toothed smile.

"There you are! I've been standing here for forever," she exclaimed as he approached. Josh rolled his eyes as he put in his combination and swung his bag off of his shoulder into the locker.

"What do you want, Melanie?" He sighed, and the same innocent look that Brendon had given him earlier slid its way onto her face.

"What, can't I just talk to my friends when I feel like it? Do I have to ask your permission to come up to you before school now?"

"No." Josh closed his locker and turned to face her. "But your foot is tapping out the beat to a Beatles song, which means you're keeping a secret, because you always use the Beatles to distract yourself from telling someone something you don't want them to know."

Melanie's mouth fell open, and her foot, which had indeed been tapping a Beatles song, faltered. "How the fuck do you know that?"

"Easy. You tap Green Day when you're nervous, Queen when you're excited, and The Beatles when you're feeling sneaky. You do pick up on a few things when you're friends with someone for 15 years," Josh informed her. She closed her mouth, stumped, and he continued, "So what is it that you're hiding from me?"

Her foot started tapping again, and the innocent expression was back. "Have you talked to Brendon yet today?"

Josh's face must have answered the question well enough, because Melanie laughed, a light, bubbly sound, and said, "I guess so."

"He was being so weird," Josh frowned. "The only thing he did was ask me if I've seen Tyler today before he took off. I don't have any fucking clue what that was about, but it was fucking weird. I don't even want know what goes on in his head some days."

Melanie blinked. " _Have_ you seen Tyler today?"

Josh sighed in exasperation. "No! Why does it matter?"

Melanie smiled. "I have nothing to say."

"In that case, kindly fuck off." Josh slammed his locker and began walking towards his Lit classrooms, muttering about how much easier it would be if his friends weren't such dicks and would just pull the sticks out of their asses and be normal sometimes.

He walked into Ms. Roth's classroom, and out of instinct he glanced towards the corner where Tyler sat. With a shock, he froze on the spot and could do nothing but stare at the sight that lay before him.

Suddenly, everything made sense. Josh knew why Brendon had been acting so weird earlier, and why Melanie had been tapping the Beatles while she talked to him. He understood why they had wanted to know if he had seen Tyler yet that morning, and he had to admit that, as annoying as they had been, they had a pretty good reason to be bothering him.

Tyler was wearing his leggings today.

It caught Josh completely off-guard, because Tyler usually only wore his leggings on Mondays, and if he didn't wear them Mondays, he most likely didn't wear them for the rest of the week either. But here he was, the tight black fabric clinging to his legs as he leaned on his desk and chatted with Brendon. Brendon, who quickly spotted Josh over Tyler's shoulder with his feet glued to the floor and his eyes eyes glued to Tyler's ass, winked, and without hesitation knocked Tyler's pencil case off his desk onto the floor. Josh's breath hitched, and he swallowed heavily as Tyler snapped something at Brendon and bent over to retrieve the case, giving Josh as perfect view of his plump ass.

Josh's face flushed as he felt his dick twitch, and he silently thanked the lord for tight jeans.

He crossed the room and slid into his seat in front of Dallon, who tapped him on the shoulder as soon as he sat down. "Hey, so, are you going to go to the library to do any research today? Because if you are, take Brendon the fuck with you. He's pissing me off."

"Good morning to you too, Dallon," he responded tightly, and when Dallon rolled his eyes, he continued, "I think we're just gonna stay in here today. I don't want to have to deal with Brendon's bitching if I make him do actual work, and besides, I don't know if he would be able to go that long without seeing your pretty face."

Dallon smiled deviously. "True, but I don't think Brendon's the only one who wants to keep an eye on someone today."

Josh scowled and crossed his legs as Dallon's eyes flicked south to Josh's little problem. Josh flipped Dallon the bird and turned back around to face the front and stare at a spot on the whiteboard until the bell rang and Ms. Roth walked in.

"Good morning, guys," she announced as she sat at her desk, and a chorus of grunted "good mornings" followed her statement. "Give me a minute to get all my stuff unpacked, and then we'll pick back up where we left off yesterday with out partners. You guys can go to the library today if you need it, or you can just stay in here and use the Internet for research. It doesn't really make a difference to me as long as you guys are working." She sat in her desk chair and gestured with one hand. "Get to it, then."

There was a great scraping of chairs as people moved to be with their partners. Josh turned his chair around to face Dallon again, and to his dismay, Brendon and Tyler were dragging chairs towards where the two of them were sitting. Brendon scooted up close next to Dallon, who shifted away until there was a good two feet of space between them--just enough for it to be friendly. Josh caught Brendon frowning out of the corner of his eye, but quickly forgot about it as Tyler placed his chair as close to Josh's as Brendon's had been to Dallon's. Josh was stiff as a board as Tyler wiggled around, adjusting himself, and when Tyler's hand brushed against Josh's thigh as he sat down, Josh sucked in a breath, tightening his legs and folding his arms as well for good measure.

"So, gang," Tyler began, sitting up straight and folding his hands on top of the desk. "What's our game plan for today?"

Dallon shifted in his seat, adjusting his glasses. "I asked Josh if he wanted to go to the library, but he said he'd rather just stay here. Since I was just there yesterday during study hall--" Brendon shot him a filthy glare from behind his back "--I say we all just stick around here and organize what information we've already got."

"Sounds good to me." Tyler scooted forward in his seat so he could lean over the desk, and Josh gritted his teeth as he watched Tyler's thighs bounce beneath the black fabric of those fucking leggings.

He wasn't sure he was going to be able to make it through first period with Tyler and those leggings and that fine ass of his sitting so close to him, much less if Tyler kept doing things like that the entire time. Josh needed a distraction. When Ms. Roth wasn't looking, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened Kik. The group chat had thankfully been dead all morning, and Josh had no interest in starting a new conversation there at the moment, so he texted Brendon instead.

jishua: i fucking hate you

_beebo is typing..._

beebo: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

_jishua is typing..._

jishua: whose idea was it for him to wear the leggings today anyway hmmm

_beebo is typing..._

beebo: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

_jishua is typing..._

jishua: you're terrible

jishua: no wonder dallon won't touch you

_beebo is typing..._

beebo: •?((¯°·._.• Ŧยςк א๏ย •._.·°¯))؟•

"Josh?"

Josh's head snapped up. Dallon were staring at him expectantly, and both Tyler and Brendon were hunched over their phones, typing away. Josh blinked.

"Um, sorry, what did you say?" He asked, feeling dumb. Dallon smiled.

"It's cool. I asked if you and Brendon have anything put together yet," he replied. As he said it, Josh felt his phone vibrate again.

"Uh, not really. I mean, Brendon's coming over after school today to work on it, so we'll probably do most of it then," he said, and for a second a look of uncertainty flickered across Dallon's face. It was gone so fast that Josh hadn't been sure he had seen it correctly, but it had definitely been something. Dallon turned back to his work.

"That's fine, then. Go back to whatever you were doing," he dismissed, and Josh smiled thankfully and looked at his phone. To his surprise and dismay, it was Tyler who had texted him.

mother joseph: this dry spell is not doing good things for dadlon that's for sure

_jishua is typing..._

jishua: ikr homegirl is #sufferign

_mother joseph is typing..._

mother joseph: i think he took brendon coming over to your house after school to work on a project as something else if you know what i mean

mother joseph: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

_jishua is typing..._

jishua: hnnnnNNNGOHMYGOD NO

jishua: dallon needs to fucking chill and pull that stick out of his ass or stay quiet and suck it up like the rest of us

_mother joseph is typing..._

mother joseph: who's the rest of us?

Oh, fuck. Josh felt his face turn red as he realized his mistake.

_jishua is typing..._

jishua: yknow i just meant everybody else I mean literally all these motherfuckers are trynna bang each other but they all deal with the fact that it's not going to happen so breathmint and dad should be able to too

Josh held his breath as he watched Tyler type out of the corner of his eye.

_mother joseph is typing..._

mother joseph: tru

Josh sighed internally, relieved that he had managed to avoid that conversation, but unbeknownst to him, Tyler and Brendon had been analyzing his every word and action since he had set foot inside the door at the beginning of class.

mother joseph: BRENDON

_beebo is typing..._

beebo: YES HELLO I AM HERE

_mother joseph is typing..._

mother joseph: JOSH IS TEXTING ME WHAT DO I DO WHAT DO I DO

_beebo is typing..._

beebo: HE TEXTED ME EARLIER TOO OMG HOMEBOY IS HAVING #ISSUES

_mother joseph is typing..._

mother joseph: W H A T

mother joseph: WHAT DID HE SAY TO YOU

_beebo is typing..._

beebo: HE SAID HE HATES ME AND THEN HE ASKED ME WHOSE IDEA IT WAS FOR YOU TO WEAR THE LEGGINGS

_mother joseph is typing..._

mother joseph: HWAT DID UOY SAY

_beebo is typing..._

beebo: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

_mother joseph is typing..._

mother joseph: B R EN DON PLEA SE

_beebo is typing..._

beebo: NONONO THATS WHAT ISAID TO HIM

beebo: I JUST SENT HIM THE ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) FACE

_mother joseph is typing..._

mother joseph: OK THAKN GOD

_beebo is typing..._

beebo: YOU SAID YOU GUYS ARE TEXTING

beebo: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOTU

_mother joseph is typing..._

mother joseph: I TOLD HIM DALLON NEEDS TO CHILL BC HE FUCKING DOES AND JOSH GOES 'HE NEEDS TO SUCK IT UP LIKE THE REST OF US' AND I GO 'WHOS THE REST OF US' WAS THAT TOO FORWARD OH MYGDO IM

_beebo is typing..._

beebo: NO THATS NOT TOO FORWARD THAT IS JUST MILDLY FLIRTATIOUS U NEED TO CLAM DOWN

_mother joseph is typing..._

mother joseph: OK OK OK I GUESS IM GONNA JUST KEEP TOUCHIN ON HIM NOW AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS

_beebo is typing..._

beebo: THEN WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU STILL TEXTING ME FOR GET THE FUCK ON IT U THIRSTY BITCH

Josh chewed his lip as Tyler and Brendon typed. He had a feeling he knew what they were talking about, and the idea of Tyler knowing that he had gotten a hard-on over him wearing leggings was almost too embarrassing for Josh to even think about. To distract himself from thinking too much, he pulled his laptop out of his bag and began trying to type out a set of notes about Hermes, the Greek god he and Brendon had chosen to do their project on.

The rest of the period was hell for Josh. It almost seemed like Tyler was _trying_ to make things as difficult and uncomfortable as he possibly could. He was constantly moving around, shifting in his seat and leaning over to pick up things he'd dropped, giving Josh a painfully delicious view of his ass. Every so often, he would get up and walk across the room to grab something he needed out of his bag, and Josh would sigh in relief as the electric presence beside him was lifted and attempt to keep his eyes on anything but Tyler's ass, which he failed spectacularly at. About halfway through the period, things got even worse. Brendon decided that he was bored, and for whatever reason thought that the best way to entertain himself would be to repeatedly knock Tyler's things off the desk to piss him off. It escalated until Brendon was practically throwing Tyler's possessions around the room. Josh was pretty sure than an eraser had hit the back of Gerard's head a some point. Dallon, who had given up on getting anything done with Brendon sitting next to him, was laughing along as Tyler grew increasingly frustrated and Josh grew increasingly hard in his jeans.

The final straw was when Brendon hit Tyler's water bottle off the table for probably the sixth time, this time sending it flying to the floor on the other side of Josh. To Josh's horror, instead of standing up, Tyler simply leaned over him to retrieve it. Josh jumped when Tyler's hand gripped his thigh for stability, and he sucked in a breath as Tyler's chest brushed against the tops of his legs as well as that little thing he was really hoping Tyler hadn't noticed. To his horror, when Tyler straightened up, his hand didn't move, lingering on Josh's thigh for far too long for him to be able to play it off as an accident. Josh was almost too far gone to notice, however, and his sole thought at this point was _get out of here get out of here get out get out get out._

As soon as the bell rang, Josh was gone, rushing out of the classroom with his head down. He riled off a list of places to go in his head--the library? The space underneath the stairs? An empty classroom? No, all seemed too easily discoverable. Josh decided on the bathroom in the math hallway--after all, Brendon and Dallon had been hooking up there for a year, and they had never been caught by anyone other than Melanie when she already knew that they were in there. He quickly turned down the math hallway, ducking his head as he spotted Patrick and Pete talking next to the lockers on the other side of the hall. The last thing he needed right now was to be seen like this.

He managed to make it to the bathroom without any interruptions, and soon as he was inside, he released the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. His spine curved as he leaned over the sink, taking deep breaths to calm himself down. Outside the door, the sound of footsteps ceased, and it registered to Josh that the next period must have began. At this point, he didn't care if he got an infraction for not being in his study hall. He'd take that over having to sit in the same room with Tyler for the next hour.

Speaking of the devil. Dread coursed through Josh's bones as he recognized the voice that called to him from the other side of the bathroom door. "Josh? Are you okay?" Josh squeezed his eyes shut and cursed to himself as Tyler slipped inside, shutting the door behind himself. "Hey. Are you alright? You just kind of took off after Lit. I was worried--"

"I'm _fine_ , Tyler, can you just leave me alone?" Josh snapped, attempting to turn his body away from Tyler to conceal his hard-on. It didn't work; Tyler's eyes flicked to Josh's face for a moment before dragging down his body, coming to rest on his bulge. Josh's breath hitched as Tyler licked his lips, and without taking his eyes off of Josh, Tyler said, in a mildly suggestive voice, "Looks like you've got a problem."

"Oh my God, Tyler, go _away_ ," Josh groaned, blushing and burying his face in his hands. When he peeked through his fingers, Tyler was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed,

"You know..." Tyler trailed off, apparently debating something. He bit his lip, and to Josh's dismay, the room seemed to grow ten degrees warmer. "I can give you a hand with that, if you want."

Josh's hand balled into a fist at his thigh. Even though he knew it was a joke, hearing the words coming from Tyler's mouth sounded like heaven, but he had to remind himself that Tyler wasn't serious.

"Tyler, I know you think you're being funny, but can you please just get out?" Josh asked in a strained voice as he turned back to the sink. He turned the faucet on as Tyler mumbled something that Josh didn't catch. He shut the water off and glanced back up. "What did you say?"

Tyler had uncrossed his arms and taken a step towards Josh. "I said, I didn't think I was being funny at all. That was a serious offer."

Josh swallowed, his pants tightening further as his cock throbbed at the force of Tyler's words. "Ty--Tyler, you can't just say shit like that to me. Please just go away. Go back to class."

"Why can't I say shit like that?" Tyler asked, and somehow, he was suddenly right in front of Josh, calculating eyes analyzing his face. Josh held his breath as Tyler stared at him. "Why don't you want me to say things like that? Does it bother you?"

"Ty-ler--" Josh's voice broke, and he blushed in embarrassment, but Tyler didn't seem to notice. He slowly moved forward,  freezing only when their lips were mere centimeters apart, and Josh's eyes slid half-shut as Tyler's breath ghosted across his face. Then, suddenly, Tyler was gone, and Josh's eyes flew open, every cell in his body crying out in disappointment. His skin physically ached from lack of contact, and when Tyler took a full step back with a cheeky, self-satisfied smirk on his face, Josh gave in. He set his jaw and surged forward, brittle frustration and grim determination fueling his next actions.

Josh's fingers hooked into Tyler's belt loops, and he roughly shoved Tyler backwards into the wall until his entire backside was pressed against the cinderblocks. Josh brought his lips down on Tyler's harshly, and shit, Tyler fucking _melted_. His arms wrapped around Josh's neck, bringing him closer as he kissed back with enthusiasm. Josh's hands tightened on Tyler's hips, fingertips digging into his skin, and Tyler moaned, fucking _moaned_ , as Josh thrusted his hips against his, seeking friction.

"This would be why--you shouldn't say things like that," Josh gasped as Tyler's hips jerked forward. Tyler leaned to the side to press a kiss to Josh's neck and smiled against his skin.

"This seems more like a reason why I _should_ ," he countered, and Josh had no argument for that. They kissed as Tyler's hands unwound themselves from around Josh's neck and slipped in between their bodies to undo Josh's belt buckle. He slipped a hand inside Josh's boxers, thin fingers gripping his hard, leaking cock, and Josh's forehead fell forward to rest against Tyler's as he began stroking him in a slow, steady rhythm.

"Fuck, Tyler," he hissed, and Tyler breathed a laugh as Josh's eyes slid shut, his face an expression of pure bliss. He shivered as Tyler's thumb traced his slit, fingertips sliding along his length in a smooth motion. Tyler watched Josh's face as he stroked him, wanting to soak up this moment so that he could preserve it in his memories forever.

"I told you I'd give you a hand," Tyler mumbled, and Josh groaned.

"I swear to God, Tyler, you're probably the only person on this planet who makes puns while giving one of your best friends a handjob," he muttered, gasping as Tyler lightly squeezed his cock.

"Probably," Tyler continued, "but at least I'm--"

Tyler' was cut off as suddenly, the bathroom door opened, and Tyler and Josh froze, staring at each other with wide, panicked eyes. In walked Brendon, staring down at his phone as he sang some song under his breath and tapped his hand in a steady beat against his thigh. He did a double take when he spotted Josh and Tyler, faces flushed with their hands in each others' pants as Josh pressed Tyler into the wall, and abruptly dropped his phone to cover his eyes with his hands as he shouted, "Oh my fucking God!"

"Brendon, oh my God--" Tyler let go of Josh's dick, wiping his hand on his pants as he hurriedly tried to explain himself. Josh hastily zipped his pants up, his face on fire as Brendon dramatically held the hand not covering his eyes out in front of him and took a stumbling step backwards.

"Oh my God, Tyler, oh my God, did I actually just see your hand in Josh's pants, oh my God--" he babbled as Tyler and Josh looked helplessly at each other. Brendon peeked between his fingers, and when he confirmed that the coast was clear, he took his hand away and stared at Tyler and Josh like he had never seen them before. "Oh my fucking God, Tyler! It worked! Holy shit!" He let out a short, breathy laugh. "Wait 'til everybody hears!"

"Brendon, don't you dare--" Tyler began, but Brendon was already gone, the bathroom door swinging shut behind him. Tyler looked helplessly at Josh, whose stared back in dismay.

"You don't think he'll actually--" Josh stated, but Tyler nodded.

"Oh, yes he will. C'mon." Tyler grabbed Josh's hand, and the together the two of them sprinted out of the bathroom. They managed to just spot the tail of Brendon's jacket disappear inside his classroom, and seconds later, they both felt their phones vibrate in their pockets. They shared a dismayed glance as they simultaneously checked Kik, and sure enough, their worst suspicions were confirmed.

beebo: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

_beebo is typing..._

_mother joseph is typing..._

mother joseph: BRENDON STOP TYPING

beebo: heeeeeEEEEEYY YOU GUYSSSSS

_jishua is typing..._

jishua: BRENDON I SWEAR TO GOD

beebo: YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHO I JUST CAUGHT IN THE BATHROOM IN THE MATH HALLWAY DOING THE DO

_geebee is typing..._

_st. patty is typing..._

_milky way is typing..._

_crybaby is typing..._

st. patty: OMG WHO

geebee: was it melanie and ashley bc if it was then frank owes me five bucks

crybaby: GERARD FUCK OFF OH MY GOD

milky way: BRENDON WHO WAS IT MY 12 YEAROLD EARS ARE THIRSTY FOR THE GOSSIP

_mother joseph is typing..._

mother joseph: BRENDON LEONARDO URIE DONT YOU FU CKING DARE

_beebo has named the chat **josh and tyler are doing the Succ™**_

_**mother joseph has left the chat** _

_st. patty is typing..._

_crybaby is typing..._

_milky way is typing..._

_oreo is typing..._

_dadlon is typing..._

_geebee is typing..._

_Peter is typing..._

_**beebo has added mother joseph to the chat** _

oreo: ARE YOU SERIOUS BRENDON

crybaby: FUKCING CALLED THAT SHIT MONTHS AGO YOU BITCHES SUCK MY DICK

geebee: hnnNNNNGOHMHYGOD BRENDON ARE YOU JUST FUCKING WITH US OR ARE YOU ACTUALLY SREIOUS

_beebo is typing..._

beebo: IM DIXIE CHICK SERIOUS YOU GUYS OH MY GOD IM IN LITERAL HEAVEN RN

milky way: OH MY GOD NOW YOU GUYS CAN FINALLY ADOPT ME Y E S I AM CRYING

st. patty: I AM FUCKING YODELING THIS SHIT IS SO GOOD I AM LITERAL TRASH

Peter: WHAT ARE YOU GUYS GONNA NAME YOUR KIDS

dadlon: OH THANK SWEET LORD BABY JESUS FINALLY

dadlon: WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOUGUYS TO FUCK FOR SO LONG NOW OUR SOULS CAN FINALLY REST

dadlon: TODAY IS A BLESSED DAY

_beebo is typing..._

beebo: OH OK DALLON SO YOU'LL TALK IN THE GROUP CHAT BUT YOU WONT TEXT ME BACK I SEE HOW IT IS

_oreo is typing..._

_crybaby is typing..._

_Peter is typing..._  
oreo: OH

oreo: SHIT

oreo: DALLON YOUR ASS JUST GOT CALLED OUT ARE YOU JUST GONNA TAKE THAT

crybaby: GUY SS WE'RE TALKIGN ABOUT JOSH AND TYLER RIGHT NOW PLEASE SAVE YOUR DUMB AGRUMENTS FOR LATER

Peter: WERE THEY ACTUALLY FUCKING BRENDON LIKE DID JOSH ACTUALLY HAVE HIS ACTUAL DONGER INISDE TYLERS ACTUAL SAUSAGE POCKET

_beebo is typing..._

_jishua is typing..._

_mother joseph is typing..._

jishua: YOU GUYS I AM SO UNCOMFROTABLE W Y D

mother joseph: OK PETE FIRST OF ALL WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I BOTTOM

_crybaby is typing..._

_st. patty is typing..._

crybaby: ARE YOU SERIOUS TYLER

st. patty: TYLER YOURE A SLOPABOTTOMUS PLEASE SIT DOWN

_geebee is typing..._

geebee: HIS ASS AINT GONNA BE SITTIN NOWHERE IF JOSH WAS JUST UP IN IT

geebee: OHHHHH

geebee: #420BLAZINGITYOUJUSTGOTREKTSON

_milky way is typing..._

_oreo is typing..._

milky way: GERARD IM BEATING YOU UP AFTER SCHOOL

oreo: WHY HASN'T ANYONE ANSWERED PETERS QUESTION

_geebee is typing..._

_st. patty is typing..._

geebee: YES WHY

st. patty: BRENDON WHAT WERE THEY DOING

_beebo is typing..._

_jishua is typing..._

_mother joseph is typing..._

_dadlon is typing..._

jishua:BRENDON IF YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE YOUR SANITY AND YOUR BALLS YOU WILL PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN AND WALK AWAY RIGHTNOW

dadlon: NO

dadlon: DO TELL US BRENDON

mother joseph: DALLON DONT ENCOURAGE HIM WYDDDDD

_beebo is typing..._

beebo: WELL

beebo: THERE WEREN'T ANY LONG DONGERS IN ANY SAUSAGE POCKETS BUT TYLER HAD HIS HANDS ON JOSH'S SALAMI STICK AND JOSH WAS #LOVINGIT

_**mother joseph has left the chat** _

_dadlon is typing..._

_oreo is typing..._

_crybaby is typing..._

_**jishua has added mother joseph to the chat** _

_jishua is typing..._

jishua: TYLER IF I HAVE TO SUFFER THEN SO DO YOU

crybaby: IM SOFUCKINGAHPPY WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR SO LONG

crybaby: JOSH AND TYLER ARE DOING THE HUMPTY HUMP THE WORLD CAN FINALLY BE AT PEACE

_mother joseph is typing..._

mother joseph: MELANIE THE WORLD IS NOT GOING TO BE AT PEACE UNTIL YOU SUCK ASHLEY FRAGENIPAINE'S TITS SO YOU MIGHT WANT TO GET ON THAT

dadlon: omg I can't believe they were doing it in a school bathroom what kind of freak would do that that's so fuckin gross

_crybaby is typing..._

_beebo is typing..._

_st. patty is typing..._

st. patty: oh me oh my brebdnon i do believe your ass just got #rekt

crybaby: TYLER SHUT THE FUC K UPP

beebo: dallon will you just fucking text me already so we can talk about this

_dadlon is typing..._

dadlon: talk about what?

_beebo is typing..._

beebo: thats it im moving to quebec

_oreo is typing..._

oreo: dallon

_dadlon is typing..._

dadlon: yes

oreo: I applaud you

dadlon: XD

_mother joseph is typing..._

_st. patty is typing..._

mother joseph: DALLON ANTOINELLO WEEKES CAN YOU PLEASE CALM THE FUCK DOWN NOBODY FUCKING USES XD ANYMORE ARE YOU FUCKKGING KIDDINGME

st. patty: DALLON THIS IS NOT 2005 GET YOUR HEAD OUTT OF YOUR TIGHTLY WOUND ASSHOLE PLEASE AND THAKNYOU

_dadlon is typing..._

dadlon: XDDDDD

_crybaby is typing..._

crybaby: I STILL CANT BELIEVE THAT TYLER AND JOSH FINALLY FUCKED IM LITERALLY CRYING TEARS OF JOY IM SO HAPPY

crybaby: ARE YOU GUYS STILL IN THE BATHROOM I MIGHT COME HUG YOU

_jishua is typing..._

_mother joseph is typing..._

mother joseph: we are not

jishua: unfortunately not brendon walking in kind of killed the mood tbh

_crybaby is typing..._

crybaby: OK ILL JUST HAVE TO HUG YOU GUYS AT LUNCH

_jishua is typing..._

jishua: melanie just fuck OFF ALREADY FOR CHRISTS SAKE

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_**mother joseph has left the chat** _

"Well, fuck," Josh stated, looking up at Tyler in dismay. To his surprise, Tyler was smiling. "What the fuck are you smiling for?"

"Nothing," Tyler answered too quickly, and when Josh gave him a disapproving look, he sighed. "It's just. I've sort of been waiting for this since like, freshman year. I'm kind of happy."

"Really?" Josh was surprised. "Freshman year? All this time I thought it was just me."

"That's because you're literally one of the most oblivious people ever." Tyler grinned. "I've been trying to get you to do something for forever. I really wanted you to make the first move, but it was pretty clear that wasn't going to happen, so I took things into my own hands. Well. Mine and Brendon's hands."

Josh blinked. "Brendon?"

"Who do you think finally convinced me to get over how nervous I was and text you last night?"

"Oh." It made sense. Out of all of them, Brendon was the most experienced when it came to relationships. Back in their freshman year, he had dated a boy named Ryan, who had cheated on him in the beginning of sophomore year with another boy named Jon. But, Brendon had told Josh one late Saturday night when he'd been sleeping over at Josh's house and they'd both had a little too much to drink, it had been one of the best things that had ever happened to him, because if he and Ryan had stayed together, he never would have gotten with Dallon. Josh was pretty sure Brendon didn't remember anything from that night since Brendon had been pretty damn wasted, but Josh would never forget the way Brendon's eyes lit up as he whispered, "I think I love him."

Josh had promised himself that he would never tell anyone else about that night, not even Brendon, but he was thinking about it as Tyler told him how Brendon had helped him gain confidence when it came to talking to him. Even though he was annoying as fuck most of the time and made it his personal goal to piss off as many people as possible, Brendon really was one of the best people Josh knew.

Not that he'd ever admit that, especially not to Brendon's face. He might have been a nice guy, but his ego was still the size of Texas, and he didn't need Josh's encouragements to inflate it any more. Nevertheless, Josh smiled shyly and scuffed the toe of his shoe against the floor. "Yeah. He is pretty great."

Tyler snorted. "No, he's not. He's a piece of shit. He just knows how to get the boys."

"Well. True." There was an awkward silence. "So, should we go back to study hall, or...?"

"I mean, if you want to," Tyler answered quickly. "Or we could, you know..."

"Um." Josh felt his face heat up. "Maybe another time."

"Oh. Okay. That's cool. That's fine," Tyler rambled, his words coming out in a rush. "I don't want you to feel like you have to--"

"Tyler, please shut up," Josh cut him off, and when Tyler did, he continued, "I want to. _Believe_ me, I want to. But we're halfway through second period and Mr. Maron is probably very confused and wondering where we are and--"

"Okay. I get it. Another time," Tyler interrupted with a smile. He reached forward to brush a strand of blue hair off of Josh's forehead. "Just remember that I'm definitely going to take you up on that offer in the near future."

"Trust me, I will." With a surge of confidence, Josh reached out and took Tyler's hand in his. Tyler watched the action with a smile, and together, the two of them walked hand-in-hand to study hall.

Besides Gerard and Dallon staring holes into their skulls from the moment they walked in until the end of class, the rest of second period wasn't that bad for Tyler and Josh. Josh felt like he was on Cloud 9, and thankfully, his boner had pretty much been killed after the bathroom incident (Brendon Urie did tend to have that effect on most people), and he was managing to keep himself under control. He and Tyler made casual conversation and worked on their Lit projects until the bell rang, where they reluctantly parted ways. Josh caught up with Gerard, and after he congratulated Josh on finally getting with Tyler (this was going to get old really fast), the two of them headed off to strength training, which of course was boring as usual. Afterwards, Josh waved goodbye to Gerard and set off for the cafeteria with mild dread settling in his stomach.

To say that lunch was insane would be an understatement. On Tuesdays, Josh had first lunch with Patrick, Melanie, Brendon, and Mikey, all of whom had texted him beforehand saying that they were very excited to hear all the details of what had happened between him and Tyler earlier. Josh, on the other hand, was not looking forward to it at all.

He stayed quiet as he walked to their usual lunch table in the far corner of the cafeteria. Melanie and Brendon were sitting with their backs to him, heads pushed close together as they discussed something in hushed whispers. Next to them, Mikey and Patrick sat across from each other having an equally intense conversation, but at a higher volume. As Josh approached, he began to catch bits and pieces of what they were saying.

"--an oxymoron, though," Mikey stated, and Patrick nodded along. "If you really think about it, what makes a Pepe rare? As soon as somebody sees it, it's not a rare Pepe anymore, and when people start to reblog it, it becomes a common Pepe pretty fucking fast. But the thing is, there's so many different Pepes out there, how do people keep track of what's a rare Pepe and what's not? And, like--

"Are you guys really having a discussion about the oxymoron of a rare Pepe?" Josh cut in as he walked around the table and sat next to Patrick. Mikey nodded vehemently.

"Yes, we are, and before you ask, I'm not going to congratulate you on finally getting a handjob off of Tyler, so don't even ask," he replied drily, before turning back to Patrick. "So anyways--"

"Hang on, I wasn't going to ask you to say anything about me and Tyler," Josh interrupted again, and Mikey gave him a dirty look. "What's got your panties in a pretzel today?"

"How about you shut the fuck up, Josh," Mikey frowned, staring a hole into the table. Josh blinked.

"Mikey, what the hell? Is something wrong?" He asked, concerned, and that seemed to be the last straw. Mikey shoved his chair back, snatching his lunch bag off the table and stomping to his feet.

"I'm fine. I need to get some air," he announced before storming out of the cafeteria. Josh and Patrick stared after him in shock for a few seconds before Patrick cleared his throat.

"I think he just needs a little space right now. He's been in a bad mood all day," he mused, and Josh nodded.

"I know. He was being a pissbaby this morning, too. You know, that conversation you two were having is actually kind of interesting. You asked what makes a Pepe rare. What does? I was thinking about this the other day, like, what if you just made a billion different versions of the same Pepe with tiny little variations here and there? Would they all still be rare even if they all look almost the same because they're not all identical?"

"You've got a point," Patrick agreed, "but why would someone want a bunch of the same Pepes with tiny little variations?"

"Exactly! So none of them would really be worth anything, and they wouldn't really be rare!" Josh exclaimed a little too loudly, causing Brendon and Melanie, who had apparently only just realized he was there, to look up.

"Josh! When the hell did you get here?" Melanie squealed. "Oh my God, come here! I have to hug you!"

"Melanie, please--" Josh groaned, but it was too late; Melanie had already run around the table and was now attempting to crack his ribs in one of the tightest hugs he'd ever experienced. "Mel--can't breathe!"

"Sorry," she giggled as she released him, and Josh took a deep breath. "But you and Tyler! Tyler and you! I can't believe it! It's so fucking exciting!"

"Mel. Calm down. It's not a big deal," Josh mumbled, feeling his face heat up, and Brendon snorted.

"Of course it is, you ass. We've all been waiting for this since freshman year," he said, and Josh frowned.

"Don't you think that's a little bit of an exaggeration?" He asked, and frowned when all of his friends shook their heads.

"Absolutely not," Patrick implored. "We've literally been talking about it since you guys first laid eyes on each other in Ms. Speel's Lit 1 class."

Josh groaned. "I literally hate all of you right now. Can we please talk about something other than my sex life?"

To his surprise, Melanie shrugged. "I mean, I just heard the full story from Brendon, so I guess that's okay. Besides, I have something else important that I want to talk about, now that the angsty child is gone." When none of them interrupted, she continued, "I think Mikey and Pete are fucking."

Josh sighed and sat back down.

Mikey stayed away for the rest of lunch, and thankfully, no one brought up the subject of Tyler and Josh for the rest of the time they were together, and instead contented themselves with talking about which of their other friends could be getting it on. It turned out that Melanie had been serious about Mikey and Pete, and scarily, by the time lunch was over, Josh agreed with her. As he left the lunch room, Josh thought back to earlier that morning, when Mikey had been texting someone as they walked into school and had then promptly ditched him, Frank, and Gerard for some unknown reason. Could that unknown reason have been Pete?

Josh considered this as he walked to Physics by himself, full of food and ready to waste the rest of the day doodling in the corners of his notebooks until it was time to go back to his house with Brendon. He walked into his Physics classroom, set his bag down, and situated himself in his seat in the most optimal napping position, completely prepared to sleep through the rest of the period.

Of course, that was when the group chat started acting up again.

crybaby: I have a question

_mother joseph is typing..._

_oreo is typing..._

_Peter is typing..._

Peter: ye

mother joseph: what would that question be

oreo: do enlighten us

_crybaby is typing..._

crybaby: who all is planning to go to the mixer on friday

_mother joseph is typing..._

_geebee is typing..._

_st. patty is typing..._

_beebo is typing..._

mother joseph: eww

geebee: nope

st. patty: mel we literally havent been to one of those since freshman year

beebo: i would legit rather have mikey sit on my face than go to a mixer

_milky way is typing..._

_geebee is typing..._

milky way: brendon i know we're close but I'm going to have to respectfully decline

geebee: brendon

geebee: little brother

_beebo is typing..._

beebo: sorry

_crybaby is typing..._

crybaby: seriously? nobody wants to go?

_milky way is typing..._

_dadlon is typing..._

milky way: pete and I were thinking about it

dadlon: idk i might go

_mother joseph is typing..._

_jishua is typing..._

_geebee is typing..._

_beebo is typing..._

mother joseph: dallon since when the fuck do you go to anything ever

jishua: except for when beeb is there

geebee: ooh breadstick u better watch out dad is officially #onthehunt for some fresh booty

beebo: dallon oh my god PLEASE JUST TALK TO ME

_dadlon is typing..._

dadlon: idk I was just thinking since I haven't really had a girlfriend or a boyfriend during the first three and a half years of high school i might try putting myself out there for the last part of senior year and see what happens

_**beebo has left the chat** _

_crybaby is typing..._

_geebee is typing..._

_mother joseph is typing..._

geebee: SHIT

geebee: FUCKIN SAVAGE

crybaby: dallon do you think maybe you're going a little far here

mother joseph: dallon you might want to ease off a little bit jfc

_dadlon is typing..._

dadlon: OH MY GOD I KNOW BUT IM FREAKING OUT IDK WHAT ELSE TO DO I DONT WANT TO GIVE HIM THE SATISFACTION OF KNOWING HES RIGHT YET BUT IDK HOW ELSE TO DO THIS

dadlon: I FEEL LIKE THE WORST PEROSN EVER FOR SAYING THIS STUFF TO HIM AND I MISS HIM SOMUCH AAGH

dadlon: IF ANY OF YOU TELL HIM ABOUT THIS CONVERSATION I WILL CUT OFF YOUR BALLSACK AND CHOKE YOU TO DEATH WITH IT

_crybaby is typing..._

_mother joseph is typing..._

crybaby: ok first of all calm down

mother joseph: dad u need to #chillax and #get#your#shit#together

dadlon: I NKNOW BUT HOW DO I 

crybaby: dallon dont you think maybe its time to give in

dadlon: NO

dadlon: I WILL NOT GIVE HIM THAT SATISFACTION

dadlon: THE DAY I ADMIT THAT I AM THIRSTIER THAN BRENDON URIE IS THE DAY I DIE

Josh blinked as he realized he had received a private message from Brendon.

beebo: hey can you add me back

_jishua is typing..._

jishua: sure but i have something you might want to hear first

_beebo is typing..._

beebo: what

jishua: dallon is talking about u

_beebo is typing..._

beebo: WAT

beebo: JOSH

beebo: WAHT IS HE SAYING

_jishua is typing..._

jishua: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

_beebo is typing..._

beebo: NO

beebo: J O S H

beebo: YOU CANT JUST

_jishua is typing..._

jishua: this is what you get for telling everybody about me and tyler ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

jishua: payback's a biiitch

_beebo is typing..._

beebo: •?((¯°·._.• Ŧยςк א๏ย •._.·°¯))؟•

beebo: will you still add me back

_jishua is typing..._

jishua: sure

_**jishua has added beebo to the chat** _

_beebo is typing..._

_jishua is typing..._

beebo: so dallon my dear sweet milk monkey josh tells me you were talking about me while i was gone what was that about hmm

_crybaby is typing..._

_dadlon is typing..._

crybaby: good job josh way to be a fucking snitch

_jishua is typing..._

jishua: i didnt tell him anything other than that dallon was talking about him please fucking chill

dadlon: I was just saying that you're acting really weird lately :/ is something up?

_beebo is typing..._

beebo: ok u kno what

beebo: im so fucking done with this ok I am done

beebo: dallon you know what if you want to go to the mixer on friday that's perfectly fine with me

beebo: I actually have plans of my own

_dadlon is typing..._

dadlon: oh really :)

_beebo is typing..._

beebo: yep

beebo: ryan actually texted me this morning asking if we could hang out on friday so I guess I'll tell him I can :)))

_oreo is typing..._

_st. patty is typing..._

_geebee is typing..._

_mother joseph is typing..._

_jishua is typing..._

_crybaby is typing..._

_milky way is typing..._

_Peter is typing..._

mother joseph: OH HELL NO

mother joseph: BRENDON DONT EVEN JOKE ABOUT THAT ABSOLUTE PILE OF EXCREMENT

oreo: BRENDON OH MY GOD NO DONT PLAY GAMES

jishua: BRENDON IF YOU HANG OUT WITH RYAN I WILL LITERALLY SIT IN THE BACKSEAT OF YOUR FUCKING CAR AND CHAPERONE YOUR DAMN DATE

crybaby: BRENDON BOYD URIE IF YOU GO BACK TO THAT PIECE OF TRASH I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL PERSONALLY STAND AT YOUR WINDOW EVERY NIGHT AND SERENADE YOU WITH THE CAMPFIRE SONG FROM SPONGEBOB FROM DUSK UNTIL DAWN

crybaby: WHILE YOU'RE TAKING HIS MEAT POPSICLE IN YOUR SAUSAGE POCKET YOU WILL BE HEARING NOTHING BUT "C A M P F I R E S O N G SONG" ON REPEAT GETTING INCREASINGLY FASTER EACH TIME ARE YOU PREPARED FOR THAT KIND OF TRAUMA

_beebo is typing..._

_dadlon is typing..._

beebo: I guess I'll just have to suffer ;))))

dadlon: good for you brendon :) i'm glad you guys are getting over your prolems :)

Josh half-smiled in amusement as he received a private message from Dallon.

dadlon: OH MY GOD DO YOU THINK HES SERIOUS

dadlon: HE WOULDN'T ACTUALLY GO BACK TO RYAN WOULD HE

dadlon: WHAT DO I DO WHAT DO I DO IMPANICKING JOSH HELPME

dadlon: HE CANT GO BACK TO RYAN HES MINE AND RYAN IS A PIECE OF TRASH

dadlon: JOSH PL EASE

_jishua is typing..._

jishua: OH MY GOD FIRST OF ALL CALM THE FUCK DOWN I CANT THINK STRAIGHT WITH THIS MANY CAPITAL LETTERS IN MY FACE

jishua: SECOND OF ALL YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WANTED TO DRAW OUT THE DRY SPELL SO IF YOU LOSE HIM ITS YOUR OWN DAMN FAULT

jishua: IM SORRY TO SAY THAT BUT HTATS THE WAY IT IS

jishua: NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE THE FUCK OUT OF ME IM TRYING TO TAKE A FUCKING NAP

jishua: GOODNIGHT

dadlon: YOU WERE LITERALLY NO HELP IM TEXTING TYLER

jishua: BE MY GUEST

Josh turned off his phone and laid his head down on his desk with a groan.

Much to his surprise, he did actually manage to fall asleep after that. He was awakened only by the bell that signaled the end of fourth period, and he padded groggily off to American history, where he was greeted with smiles from Patrick and Gerard. Fifth period passed quickly, and after the last bell of the day rang, Josh walked to his locker, where Brendon was already waiting for him with a serene expression on his face. When he spotted Josh's accusing look, he quickly held up his hands and explained, "Look, before you freak out, I'm not actually getting back with Ryan. He never even texted me. I just wanted to make Dallon all anxious and shit."

When Josh did nothing but continue to squint suspiciously, Brendon sighed. "Josh, I swear. I haven't even talked to him since sophomore year. I would literally rather get with Melanie than back with Ryan. That ship has sailed and sunk."

Josh's face slowly relaxed, and he smiled slightly at Brendon. "You said you were just trying to get Dallon worked up?"

"Um. Yes?"

Josh pulled out his phone and pulled up Dallon's texts from third period. "I think it's working."

Brendon grabbed Josh's phone, and his face broke into a sly smile as his eyes scanned the messages. "I fucking knew it. I knew he was freaking out as much as I was. That little bitch." He handed the phone back to Josh and ran a hand through his hair. "That just made my fucking day. Let's get going. I need McDonald's more than I need air right now. Can we go?"

Josh quirked an eyebrow as he got his bookbag out of his locker. "You got money?"

Brendon smirked. "Of course not."

Josh sighed as he shut his locker. "I'll buy you a four-pack of nuggets."

"Deal." Brendon skipped ahead, spinning in a circle and singing a very loud, off-key version of Sugar by Maroon 5. Josh rolled his eyes and jogged to keep up.

After a quick run through the McDonald's drive thru, Josh and Brendon pulled into Josh's driveway with the radio at full volume, most likely pissing off a few neighbors. Both of Josh's parents worked late most week nights, and Josh's siblings had various after-school activities to attend to, so he and Brendon would be home alone for several more hours. Inside, Josh fixed them a snack of Mountain Dew and Cheetos, and the two quickly became situated in front of the Xbox playing an intense game of Grand Theft Auto.

After a couple hours of stealing cars, murdering bystanders, blowing up buildings, and feeling up various pixelated strippers, Brendon threw his controller down. "My eyes are bleeding," he complained. "Whose idea was it to invent this stupid fucking video game? I can't feel my brain."

"Who was the one who suggested we play?" Josh asked rhetorically, but Brendon wasn't listening. He had pulled out his phone and was currently typing away. Josh had a feeling he knew what Brendon was up to. "Don't tell me you're texting the group chat."

"Nope. I'm just on Twitter." The way Brendon said it made Josh suspicious, and he quickly pulled out his phone to check and make sure that Brendon was telling the truth.

"What the hell is that about?" Josh asked, bemused. Brendon's newest tweet read, "Having a great time with a very special friend tonight ;)". Josh had a feeling he already knew, but Brendon answered anyways, confirming his suspicions.

"Just trying to make Dallon jealous," he replied, trying and failing to look casual. Josh sighed.

"I get that you two are having problems, but could you please not bring me into this?" His eyes widened as a new thought occurred to him. "Dude! What if Tyler sees it?"

As if on cue, Brendon's phone vibrated. He quickly checked it, and with an ironic smile, announced, "Tyler says, 'Aren't you at Josh's tonight? What the fuck is your tweet about?'"

"Oh my God, Brendon." Josh shook his head and quickly pulled out his phone to text Tyler and put his thoughts at ease.

jishua: pls ignore that tweet brendon's just trying to make dallon jealous

_mother joseph is typing..._

mother joseph: i figured

_jishua is typing..._

jishua: just thought i'd make sure you know

_mother joseph is typing..._

mother joseph: yep its good

"I fucking hate you," Josh groaned, and Brendon merely laughed.

"You love me and you know it," he insisted, and Josh rolled his eyes.

"It's almost ten o'clock. Don't you have a dick to suck somewhere right about now?" He asked, and Brendon sighed melodramatically.

"Unfortunately not. In case you haven't noticed, my boyfriend won't put out. By the way, if you want me gone, you can just ask," he said as he placed a hand over his heart.

"Okay. Get out. I'm fucking tired, and we didn't even get anything done this afternoon," Josh replied. Brendon groaned as he stood up, legs stiff from having been sitting for so long. "Do you need a ride?"

"I literally live across your backyard. I'll be fine," Brendon replied, and Josh shrugged.

"Just asking. Be safe. Don't get kidnapped or murdered by Dallon," he answered as Brendon shrugged on his jacket. "Text me when you get home."

"Okay, mom," Brendon replied. He walked to the sliding glass door that led to the backyard and slipped outside. "I'll see you tomorrow, you little piece of ass, you."

"Okay, asshole. Later," Josh replied, already halfway up the stairs. He heard Brendon shout, "Still can't believe you fucked Tyler!" before the back door slid shut as Josh walked into his room, slamming his bedroom door shut behind him.

Staring at the TV for six hours had given him a headache, so Josh walked to the bathroom and popped a couple of aspirin. Rubbing his eyes, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and set it on the bedside table before sprawling out on the bed, still in his jeans, and slowly drifted off to sleep, dreaming of how Tyler's lips had felt on his.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to apologize for the shitty ending but I was tired and yknow what at least I tried
> 
> there was a lot more sad backstory in this chapter than I anticipated but at least I made up with it with the discussion about rare Pepes (which is an actual conversation I had with two of my actual friends last week #yikes)
> 
> next chapter will probably be up sometime in the next week or two, and just a warning, it's going to focus a lot less on brendon, dallon, tyler, and josh and more on the characters we haven't seen that much of yet, because in order for the story to progress the way i want it to we have to know more about what they're getting up to if you know what I mean
> 
> also, I need to know if you guys want me to add a sixth bonus chapter after I finish the main five, because if you do, I need to start incorporating some of it into the next couple chapters. leave a comment down below telling me if you want me to or not :)
> 
> thx for enjoying my garbage I'll see you fuckers in a week


	3. Wednesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At around 3:30 in the morning, Josh was awakened by none other than the group chat. He quickly managed to drift off again, but on the other side of town, someone else was not so lucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god i am so fucking sick of this stupid chatper I'm so glad it's over and done with and out of my brain
> 
> just a warning, this chapter is pretty angsty, but that's just because I love writing Mikey Way as an whiney piece of shit
> 
> anyways have fun you fucks

At around 3:30 in the morning, Josh was awoken by none other than the group chat.

mother joseph: brendon

_ryan ross's personal cock vacuum is typing..._

ryan ross's personal cock vacuum: yes

mother joseph: why

ryan ross's personal cock vacuum: what

ryan ross's personal cock vacuum: my username?

mother joseph: obviously

ryan ross's personal cock vacuum: do you not like it

ryan ross's personal cock vacuum: would you like me to change it

mother joseph: please

_ryan ross's personal cum dump is typing..._

ryan ross's personal cum dump: is this better

_mother joseph is typing..._

mother joseph: yes

mother joseph: thank you

ryan ross's personal cum dump: ofc

ryan ross's personal cum dump: I aim to please

mother joseph: that is all carry on

_jishua is typing..._

jishua: why the fuck are you guys still awake go the fuck to sleep

_ryan ross's personal cum dump is typing..._

ryan ross's personal cum dump: why are YOU awake yung jim

ryan ross's personal cum dump: is someone having a late night fapping session to tyler's facebook profile picture

_jishua is typing..._

jishua: I was sleeping until you fuckers kindly woke me up

_ryan ross's personal cum dump is typing..._

ryan ross's personal cum dump: ofc u were ;)))

_oreo is typing..._

_crybaby is typing..._

_geebee is typing..._

oreo: Brendon Oh My God Your Fucking Username

crybaby: and today on "things melanie never thought she would read before 9 am"

geebee: wait till dad sees it

_st. patty is typing..._

st. patty: ohh deeary me that is Not an argument I want to be present for

_jishua is typing..._

jishua: what the fuck is wrong with all of you go the fuck back to sleep

Josh put the conversation on do not disturb before shutting his phone off and rolling over. He quickly managed to drift off again, but on the other side of town, someone else was not so lucky.

Mikey Way was was sitting criss-cross-applesauce at the foot of his neatly-made bed, his hands folded delicately in his lap. His phone lay across from him on his pillow, and he stared at it with tired eyes. It was open to Kik, and although he had received the notifications from the group chat, they weren't what he was focused on.

Private chat with Peter

milky way: I just don't understand why you don't want to tell anyone

Peter: what isn't there to understand

milky way: well you haven't exactly given me any reasons as to why you want this to stay a secret

Peter: well

Peter: I just don't know what people will think

milky way: who like my brother and his friends? pete they've literally been encouraging us to go out for since forever they're not gonna mind if we tell them

Peter: not our senior friends I meant like other people

milky way: like andy and joe?

Peter: yes

milky way: why do you care what they think

Peter: I just do ok

Peter: I don't want to tell people

milky way: peter we have been seeing each other for almost six months and I'm tired of hiding

Peter: well if that's the case then maybe there shouldn't be anything for us to hide in the first place

milky way: what are you saying

milky way: if you're saying what I think you're saying

milky way: pete are you saying that we should break up

That had been at around midnight, and Pete hadn't texted back since. Mikey was growing increasingly frustrated, and although he didn't want to admit it to himself, he was pretty damn worried. He and Pete argued a lot, sure, but they were usually short arguments over dumb things that didn't matter the next day. This, they'd been fighting about for almost two weeks now, and Pete wasn't showing any signs of wanting to give in. And, sure, he had threatened to break up with Mikey before during arguments, but Mikey had always known that he was teasing. This time, he wasn't so certain.

Mikey Way had had a crush on Pete Wentz since the moment he walked into Biology on the first day of their freshman year, tripped over his own feet, and yelled, "Oh, fuck me in the ass!" in front of twenty of their peers as well as their teacher. He had set a record for the fastest detention ever received at their high school, as well as the record for the shortest amount of time in which Mikey had ever fallen for someone.

Their friendship had blossomed quickly once they realized that Pete's best friend Patrick was good friends with Mikey's best friend Frank and his older brother Gerard, all of whom were in the grade above the two of them. Mikey and Pete had begun to hang out with Patrick and Frank and their friends more and more throughout the year, and in result, ended up spending almost every weekend seeing each other, which had done nothing but fuel the flames of Mikey's crush.

During their sophomore year, when all their friends were juniors, Brendon had started officially seeing Dallon, and that had sort of sparked the obsession their friend group had with relationships. Once Melanie had pointed out that Pete and Mikey would make a pretty cute couple, that had been the beginning of the end. Their friends had become relentless, telling them constantly that the two of them should date, and although Mikey agreed with them wholeheartedly, he didn't say anything, because he didn't think that Pete felt the same way. What he didn't realize was that Pete was thinking exactly the same thing.

It had begun as an accident at a concert back in the summer before Mikey and Pete's junior year that Mikey had attended with Gerard and Frank. Before his favorite band's set, he had been walking to the merch stand when someone had tackled him in a hug from behind. It had been Pete, with Patrick, Brendon, and Josh in tow. Mikey and Pete had screamed about how much they had missed each other, and how much they loved this band, and how amazing it was that they were both here! Holy shit! Brendon had asked Mikey if Gerard and Frank were here, too, and once Mikey had told him yes, he, Patrick, and Josh had abandoned the two of them outside the stand to go find their other friends on the lawn. Pete had accompanied Mikey to buy his CD and T-shirt, and after he was finished, the two of them decided to walk back to the stage together. Mikey had been surprised and very delighted when, instead of just heading back to the lawn where all their friends were, Pete had grabbed Mikey's hand and pulled him behind the stage, eyes sparkling with mischief as he announced, "I want to show you something."

And that was the story of how, instead seeing his favorite band perform live, Mikey got to listen to them from the shadows behind the venue while receiving what was possibly the best blowjob of his life from his best friend-slash-crush of almost three years. What a day to be alive.

Afterwards, the two of them had returned to their friends with poorly-concealed flushed cheeks and half-zipped pants, but as Brendon had managed to sneak in quite a bit of weed, nobody was sober enough to really notice. As the merry group walked out to the parking lot after the show was over, Mikey had hastily invited Pete to sleep over at his house, not wanting the night to end. Pete had shyly agreed, and the two had climbed into the backseat of Gerard's busted up van and had spent the ride home sloppily making out under the cover of darkness while their friends smoked and demolished the bags of cheese puffs Brendon had brought along specifically for this purpose.

That night had been one of the best of Mikey's life. He and Pete had spent hours after the concert tangled up beneath Mikey's sheets together, not bothering to keep quiet as his parents were out of town and Mikey's room was in the attic while Gerard's was in the basement. They managed to sneak Pete back home before the sun came up so his mother and Gerard wouldn't be suspicious, and had just enough time to get home before his brother was out of bed, which wasn't even really necessary, as when Mikey asked Gerard about it later that morning, Gee had said that he didn't even remember driving home last night, much less who had been in the car.

The rest had been history. Pete had texted Mikey later that morning and had asked when they could meet up again, and Mikey almost cried with joy. His fantasies were finally coming true. The two began seeing each other every day after school, going back to either Mikey's house or Pete's, depending on whose parents were home. Some days, when they couldn't wait for the school day to be over, they'd borrow Brendon and Dallon's idea and use the bathroom in the math hallway for a quickie in between classes or during lunch.

So, unbeknownst to their friends, Mikey and Pete had, in fact, been secretly dating for almost half a year, and Mikey had never been happier in his life. Pete was his best friend in the world, and he wouldn't trade him for anything else. That was why Mikey was so stressed over this fight they were having. Pete had never openly ignored Mikey the way he had done yesterday, and these texts were the only sign Mikey had received from Pete all day that he still knew Mikey existed.

Mikey sighed heavily. He could hear the sound of his father snoring all the way from the bedroom downstairs on the second floor. He really needed to get some sleep, but what if Pete texted back? He would think Mikey was ignoring him. But then, the chances of Pete actually texting him back were pretty slim, and so what if he thought Mikey was ignoring him? Rational fought with irrational as Mikey unwillingly turned off his phone and finally slid beneath his duvet, eyes heavy. He laid on his side and stared mindlessly at the night light beside the dresser as it slowly changed colors. He allowed his eyelids to slide closed, and finally, drifted into an uneasy slumber.

Two and a half hours of sleep later, Mikey was seriously regretting every life decision he had ever made that had led to him staying up until four in the morning on that particular Tuesday night in mid-January. He missed the first three alarms he had set for himself, and when he finally did wake up, he rolled over further than he had anticipated and dropped straight off the edge of the bed. Thanks to Gerard's hour-long showers, Mikey's shower was cold, and when he went to get some bread to put in the toaster for breakfast, he realized that they didn't fucking have any.

Seriously. What white middle-class family doesn't have any fucking bread in their house? Mikey was going to scream.

"Morning, Michael," Gerard sighed as he sauntered into the kitchen, long red hair still slightly damp from his shower earlier. Mikey scowled and grabbed a box of cereal out of the pantry to replace his toast. "What is on the youngest Way's agenda for today?"

"Oh, you know, just the usual. Taking six cocks up the ass at once and loving every second of it," Mikey retorted, staring daggers into the cabinet as he retrieved a bowl. Gerard slid onto one of the stools at the breakfast bar and put his chin in his hands, puckering his lips and fluttering his eyelids.

"I mean, I knew _that_ already, but I meant like something else. Anything out of the ordinary, my dear," he sighed. Mikey rolled his eyes and slammed the bowl onto the counter with a bit more force than necessary.

"You're such a prick, Gerard."

"You act like I don't already know." Gerard winked before standing up to duck into the pantry and grab a breakfast bar. "Eat fast, we're leaving in ten minutes. It's snowing out, and we still have to pick up Frank."

"Frank needs to get his own goddamn car and stop wasting our gas with his fat ass," Mikey called after him as he slipped out the door to go start the heat in the van. Mikey stared the spoon he had just picked up, unsure of whether or not he was going to be able to eat an entire bowl of cereal in ten minutes when he still had to dry his hair. He reluctantly decided against it, and instead grabbed a breakfast bar like his brother had before dashing to the bathroom down the hall and turning on the hair dryer.

Thirteen minutes later, Mikey climbed into the passenger seat of Gerard's van, shivering from the cold of the garage. He chucked his bag into the backseat, buckled his seat belt, and made an exaggerated gagging noise as Gerard turned on the radio to some country station and cranked up the volume, all for the simple purpose of pissing Mikey off.

"Oh, my God, you absolute shit, can you fucking not?" Mikey whined, throwing his hands into the air. Gerard smiled smugly. "I swear you're the worst person on the face of this earth to ride in the car with."

"I've never gotten any complaints from anybody else," Gerard replied as they pulled out of the driveway.

"That's because ninety percent of the people who ride in this car are too baked to care about what's on the radio," Mikey countered, and Gerard shrugged.

"Hey, I'm not gonna deny it. So what if I drive the stoner mobile? I'm cool with being the designated weed driver."

"I hate you so much sometimes," Mikey deadpanned. Gerard smiled.

"Don't lie to me, Michael. I'm your favorite person in the world and you know it."

Mikey rolled his eyes. "You're not even my favorite person in this car."

"Not even--wow. That really hit me in the honey nut feelios, Mikes." Gerard took a hand off the steering wheel and dramatically placed it over his heart, but quickly grabbed the wheel tight with both hands again when the tires started to skid. "Fuck! Roads are bad today."

"No shit, Sherlock. In case you didn't notice, it's kind of snowing," Mikey helpfully informed him, and Gerard shot him an unamused look.

"Sheesh. Sounds like somebody took it up the wrong hole last night," he commented, and Mikey sighed heavily.

"I'm just tired. I was up until four."

"What the fuck were you doing up until _four_? Your room is boring as fuck, there's literally nothing--" Gerard broke off with a gasp. "Hold up! Were you _texting_ a _boy_?"

Scowling, Mikey replied, "Something like that."

"Oh my God! No way! Who was it? Do I know him? If he hurts you I'll kick his ass," Gerard said all in one breath, which was actually pretty impressive. Mikey smiled slightly.

_Too late for that, Gee. Too late for that._

"Calm the fuck down, it's nobody. It's not even a boy," Mikey reassured his brother, trying to throw him off the trail, and Gerard's eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

"Wait, not a b--are you texting girls? Michael James Way, _are you texting girls?"_

"Gerard, oh my God. Please."

"Okay, okay. Sorry, but you're my baby brother. I have to, like, protect you and all that shit."

"You really, really don't." With that, conversation halted as Gerard pulled into Frank's driveway and honked the horn twice. Seconds later, Frank appeared in the front window, and quickly ran outside and made a mad dash for the car to avoid as much of the cold as possible. Mikey shivered as a gust of freezing wind and snow blew in through the door as Frank climbed into the backseat, shivering and panting from the sudden burst of exercise.

"Well, put me in a dress and call my Francesca, it's fuckin' cold out there," Frank said through chattering teeth as he closed the door and threw his bag down on the seat next to him. He leaned forward until his head was over the center console in between Gerard and Mikey, the way he did every morning. "Can we put on some different music, please? I didn't expect to suffer this much so early in the morning."

Mikey was amused and slightly offended when Gerard changed the radio station without a word of protest. The sound of James Hetfield's voice filled the car, and Frank and Gerard quietly hummed along while Mikey stared out the window as strings of white flakes swirled across the road.

They made it to school a little later than usual, but still earlier than Josh, who, for some reason, seemed to have made it his personal goal to arrive later than the Ways did every single morning without fail, no matter how late they got there. Gerard could have pulled into the parking lot at 2:55 in the afternoon, and Josh still wouldn't be there until 2:56. It was kind of ridiculous, but hey, none of them were going to question how the strange and mysterious Josh Dun's mind worked.

The three of them decided to walk inside instead of waiting for him by their car like they usually did since it was so cold outside. Once inside the building, Gerard and Frank immediately pounded Mikey on the back and walked away to go to their first class.

Mikey's first class was Physics, which of course he had with Pete. Trying to delay going to class for as long as possible, Mikey slowly made his way down the science hallway, stopping every few seconds to say hi to someone or another. Thankfully, a boy named Ray from his French class that he was sort of friends decided that now would be the perfect time to run up to Mikey and tell him all about his new puppy until the moment the first bell rang. Ray quickly bade him farewell and headed off to his math class, leaving Mikey to walk to Physics by himself.

Pete was already inside the classroom, sitting at his desk in the middle of the room. He didn't look up as Mikey walked past him to his own desk, but Mikey could tell he knew he was there, because his shoulders were tense and his fingers were tapping rapidly on his desk. Mikey sat down and pulled out his notebook and textbook, but paused when his phone buzzed in his pocket.

_Kik: 1 new message_

mother joseph: hey ho hum dee dum I'm bored as #phuck

_milky way is typing..._

milky way: what class are you in

_mother joseph is typing..._

_ryan ross's personal cum dump is typing..._

mother joseph: lit

ryan ross's personal cum dump: do you want me to pull the fire alarm to get us out of this class

_mother joseph is typing..._

_st. patty is typing..._

_dadlon is typing..._

mother joseph: please do

st. patty: brendon that is not a wise thing to do

dadlon: Brendon

_oreo is typing..._

_jishua is typing..._

oreo: ohhhh shit

oreo: dad has seen

jishua: everyone take cover

_dadlon is typing..._

dadlon: That's An Interesting Choice Of Username You've Got There

_crybaby is typing..._

_geebee is typing..._

_milky way is typing..._

_ryan ross's personal cum dump is typing..._

crybaby: shitshit oh god dad is #pissedd

geebee: EVERYBODY DUCK FOR COVER

milky way: ohgod oh god im so glad im on the other end of the building rn

ryan ross's personal cum dump: thank you I'm glad you like it :))

_oreo is typing..._

_st. patty is typing..._

_Peter is typing..._

_dadlon is typing..._

oreo: fuckfuckfuckfuckfu

st. patty: good shit goOOD SHIT MMMHMM THATSOME GOODSHIT RIGHT THERE

Peter: I am #living4thedrama

dadlon: Of Course I Like It Why Wouldn't I Like It It's So Fantastic I'm So Happy Right N Now :)) )

_geebee is typing..._

_mother joseph is typing..._

geebee: brendon you better fucking run

mother joseph: brendon i cannot stress how thankful i am that dad's hand is not on my dick bc if it was i would be infertile

mother joseph: he is squeezing that pencil #tightly

_milky way is typing..._

_ryan ross's personal cum dump is typing..._

_Peter is typing..._

milky way: oh my god I'm glad I'm not in your guys's class rn my innocent 12 year old soul could not take it

Peter: @ mikey same

Mikey scowled at Pete from beneath his bangs. Of course Pete would talk to him in the group chat like nothing was out of the ordinary, but when it came to talking one-on-one, he didn't have the balls to even acknowledge that he'd seen the texts.

milky way: oh fuck off pete

_Peter is typing..._

Peter: ?

milky way: if you don't answer my private messages then you don't get to fucking talk to me in the group chat either

_mother joseph is typing..._

_jishua is typing..._

_oreo is typing..._

mother joseph: shiiiiiit

jishua: fuckign savage

oreo: am I sensing a little trouble in paradise between the young lovebirds

oreo: hmmmmMMMMM

_Peter is typing..._

Peter: oh my god frank fuck offfff we're not bangingggggggg please let it go

Peter: mikey i just didn't see your messages oh my god chill

_**milky way has left the chat** _

Physics was stupid. Pete was stupid. Everything was stupid. Mr. Clinson had given them a worksheet to work on during class, and it was really, really stupid. Mikey grumbled to himself as he felt his phone start to vibrate in his pocket again--Gerard or somebody must have added him back--but he ignored it. He was too pissed off to care.

The rest of the period was--wait for it--stupid. Mikey finished his worksheet just before the bell, and as soon as it rang, he was out of the classroom and on to journalism. In journalism, his teacher assigned him a huge article to write about a recent movie that had come out that Mikey hadn't even seen, and just to top things off, he made it due that Friday. He was trying to keep his head up, though, as he walked back to his desk and opened his laptop to research the movie. Maybe this was just a bad morning. Maybe things would get better later.

\---

Okay, so today was literally the shittiest day Mikey had ever had.

For starters, that journalism article was total bullshit. The movie wasn't even playing in any theaters around where Mikey lived, so he either had to drive into the city on a school night to see it or just write it based off of what he'd read online. In Trigonometry, he'd tripped over his shoelace and fallen on his face in front of his entire class, and at lunch, he had snapped at Dallon when he had started talking about his Brendon problem. In P.E., he had strained a muscle in his arm from trying to lift too much weight, and in French, he had completely bombed a test he'd forgotten to study for. Plus, to top it all off, Pete was still avoiding him. By the time the last bell rang, Mikey was pretty sure the day couldn't get any worse.

Of course, he was dead fucking wrong.

As he walked out of the French classroom trying not to think about how hard he'd just failed that test, his phone buzzed in his pocket. It was a message from Gerard.

geebee: can you get another ride home today i have plans

Well, that was just fucking fantastic. He didn't know if he could get another ride, and he really didn't feel like walking three miles in the freezing January weather while his brother was off doing who knows what in the warmth of their van. Mikey slipped his phone back into his pocket and decided to head to the bathroom by the math classrooms to collect himself and splash some water on his face. As he walked in and closed the door behind himself, he paused as he heard what sounded like people whispering, but the bathroom was empty. After a moment of consideration, he shrugged to himself and dismissed it as nothing as he walked to the sink.

As he turned on the faucet, Mikey got the sudden feeling that he wasn't alone. He spun around, ready to snap at whoever had snuck in behind him, but with a chill he realized that there was no one there. Heart pounding, he scanned the stalls, but they all seemed to be empty. His eyes lingered on the door of the handicap stall, which was closed, but it usually swung shut by itself, so he didn't think he had anything to worry about. Dismissing it as his mind overworking itself from stress, he turned back to the sink and finished scrubbing under his fingernails.

He left the bathroom quickly after that, still a little freaked out. He hoisted his bag further up on his shoulder as he quickly rounded the corner to the main hallway. He looked up and stopped dead in his tracks as he took in what was possibly the most disgusting thing he had ever seen. And he had seen Gerard naked, so this was pretty fucking bad.

There was Pete, standing a little ways down the hall, talking to a girl from Mikey's trigonometry class whose name he couldn't remember. As Mikey stared, Pete glanced up and met his gaze for a fraction of a second, so quickly that if Mikey had blinked, he would have missed it. Pete hastily fixed his eyes back on the girl's face and, knowing full well that Mikey was watching, slowly and deliberately raised his arm to place his hand on the girl's shoulder and lazily drag his fingertips down her arm. He smirked as the girl giggled, and, without giving Mikey a second glance, leaned forward until their noses were practically brushing and fucking _winked_ at her.

Ouch.

Mikey felt like he was going to throw up. Pete ignoring him stung, but watching him openly flirt with someone else, when he _knew_ Mikey was watching, felt like damn needles sticking through his chest. God, Pete was being such an _ass_. Mikey couldn't watch this. Keeping his head down and avoiding Pete's eyes, he spun on his heel and ran down the closest corridor, which just happened to be the Lit hallway. He dashed through the first open doorway he saw, into a room which he quickly realized was library.

Well. How convenient.

He hurriedly strode through the stacks of books, head down to avoid eye contact with anyone who might be questioning why Gerard Way's dorky little brother was running through the library doing God knows what, hands clinging to the strap on his bag like his life depended on it. Once he was in the very back of the room, behind the nonfiction section, he threw his things on the floor, crumpled over on the dusty carpet, put his head in his hands, and started to cry.

It wasn't fair. It wasn't _fair_. How come, after two years of pining after and waiting for Pete to notice him, Mikey finally got what he wanted, only to have it stripped away from him so quickly? Was the universe really so cruel that it would give him someone he loved, _actually loved_ , and make him think they loved him back, only to realize they really didn't? Mikey sobbed into his shirtsleeve as he pondered this, trying to stay quiet so as to not attract any attention from his peers or the nosy librarians.

He didn't know how long he sat there, and he didn't really care, but eventually, he registered the sound of soft footsteps approaching. His fists clenched in his soaked shirt and his stomach twisted with dread at the prospect of being discovered as whoever it was rounded the corner and came to a stop right next to him. He heard a soft intake of breath, and then--

"Mikey?"

Mikey groaned internally as he recognized the voice. He peeked up from beneath his arms and, sure enough, there was Melanie. She stood over him, wearing a lavender sweater dress and staring at him with worried eyes as she clutched a stack of books to her chest.

"Hey, are you okay? What's going on?" She asked, skirt swishing as she sat down next to him. He responded only by burying his head deeper in his arms, and moments later, a small hand rested on his back and began to rub soothing circles into his skin.

"Hey. It's alright. You can tell me what happened if you want. Was it Gerard? Did he do something?" She pressed gently, and Mikey clenched his jaw. He wanted to tell her, _God_ , he wanted to tell her, but Pete--

No. Fuck Pete. Fuck what Pete wanted. If he was already moving on, Mikey had no more obligation to keep his secrets. This was all about Mikey now.

"It's Pete," He gasped, "it's Pete. We've been--we've been--for months--and he's--ignoring me--and I don't--know what to--do, and I just--"

"Hey, hey. Shh. It's okay. It's gonna be okay." She stopped rubbing his back and instead wrapped her arms around him in an awkward, yet not unpleasant, hug. "You and Pete are a thing?"

"I don't--know anymore," He hiccuped, and Melanie squeezed him tighter.

"What are you guys fighting about?" She asked gently. Mikey shuddered.

"He wants--to not--tell people, that we're a thing, but-I don't want to--hide it, anymore, and he--" his voice broke, and he bit his lip and breathed deeply. "Last night, he--he texted me, and said that--that--that maybe we should break up, and then--then--he was just--"

"Hey, hey. Hey. I know. I know. It's gonna be okay, alright? Everything's gonna be okay," Melanie murmured into his ear as she hugged him. Mikey shuddered and sobbed, unable to continue talking, but he had said enough. Melanie murmured soft comforts into his ear as she hugged him for he didn't know how long, until eventually, he began to calm down. He shakily wiped his eyes and unburied his face from beneath his arms as Melanie took her arms away.

"Do you want a ride home?" She asked, and Mikey nodded mutely.

"Ple-ase. Gerard told me he had plans, so I was going to--to have to find a ride anyways," he replied, and she smiled at him.

"Alright. Can you get up? Are you good?" She questioned as he got to his feet. He sniffed and nodded, wiping his nose on the cuff of his jacket sleeve. "My car's out in the back lot. We'll have to walk."

"That's fine," he sniffed, "I don't mind. I need the exercise anyways."

Melanie nodded, and together, the two of them walked out of the library and went down the history hallway, which had a door at the end of it that led to the back parking lot. They padded across the snow-covered pavement to Melanie's small silver car, and after quickly scraping the ice off the windshield, the two of them were on the road headed towards Mikey's house.

"So," Mikey began after a few minutes of sitting in awkward silence. "I know you've probably got, like, a million questions right now."

Melanie smiled without taking her eyes off the road. "Yeah, but I don't want to make you upset, so I won't ask them."

Wow. Mikey wasn't used to that. Nobody really paid attention to his personal boundaries when they wanted to ask him something, especially his brother. There were almost no secrets in the Way house. "You can if you want to, you know." Mikey scratched at a nonexistent itch on his wrist. "I'm not the one who's bothered by talking about it."

"How long have you guys been together?" She asked immediately, and Mikey smiled.

"Not too long, actually. Only like six months," he replied, and a delicate eyebrow raised in surprise.

"Really. Huh." She flicked the blinker on and said, "You were friends for a lot longer than that, though, right?" When Mikey nodded, she continued, "How did you guys finally talk out the sexual tension and get together?"

"Um. We didn't." She glanced at him, seeking an explanation, and he hesitantly said, "We kind of ran into each other at a concert last summer and he sucked me off behind the venue during the set."

"Oh my God! Which band?"

"Um." Mikey thought about it. "You know, I don't really remember."

"Makes sense. Was anybody else there with you?"

"Yeah, my brother and Frank, and then Josh, Brendon, and Patrick were with Pete."

"Are you serious? How the fuck did you get away with it with so many people there?"

"In case you haven't noticed, Mel, Brendon is a massive fucking stoner," He informed her. "He snuck in enough weed to be mistaken for an old crippled lady's garden. Everybody was a little to baked to notice that me and Pete were a little bit hot and bothered around the collar after the show."

"Really? Are you sure nobody noticed?"

"Well, I mean, if they didn't notice Pete's hands in my pants in the car on the ride home, then no, they probably didn't notice us looking a little beat up before that," he supplied, feeling his face heat up. He liked this, though; it was so nice to tell someone about it after having to keep it a secret for so damn long.

"Mikey Way, you did _not_ ," Melanie gushed as she turned onto his street. "That's so kinky. Getting it on in the car filled with your friends when they have no idea. Damn, I wish I'd been there."

"No offense, but I'm really glad you weren't."

"Hey, so. Changing the subject." Melanie looked into the rearview mirror and scratched at a spot in the corner of her eye. "Are you still planning on going to the mixer this Friday?"

"I mean." Mikey thought about it. "I was thinking about it, and I guess there's nothing else for me to do. Except, I was gonna go with Pete, but we're--you know--and I just don't have anybody else to go with."

"Well, you can come with me, if you want to."

Mikey blinked. "Seriously?"

Melanie rolled her eyes. "Yeah, seriously. If you want to. I'm just gonna hang out for a couple hours if you want to tag along."

"Wow. Okay. That'd be awesome." Mikey pulled his bag up from between his feet as Melanie pulled into his driveway. "Thanks for the ride home, Mellie. And--could you, um--could you not tell anybody, about--"

"Hey. Shh. Your secret's safe with me." She winked, and Mikey smiled, a real, genuine smile. He was pretty sure it was the first one he had managed all week.

"You're a fucking saint, Melanie Martinez. A real fucking saint."

"I try," she replied, and leaned over the center console. "Come here, give me a hug."

This hug was even more awkward than the one in the library, but was still just as warm and smelled just as good. Mikey saluted her as he slammed the car door closed and put in the code on the number pad to open the garage. Melanie honked her horn as she backed out, and he waved as she turned back onto the street and drove away.

Mikey had decided that Melanie was probably the best person on the planet as he walked into the house, called out a quick "Hello?", and decided that nobody was home. Not only had she helped improve his mood, she had provided him an outlet for all the emotions and secrets he'd been harboring for half a year. Plus, she had offered him a ride home, which not many other people would have done. For the first time this week, Mikey was thinking about something other than Pete, and it was all thanks to Melanie.

He wasn't sure what had come over him--maybe it was just the good mood making him want to do stuff--but Mikey decided to do a load of laundry. He padded up the stairs to the second floor and pulled down the ladder from the ceiling that lead to the attic where he slept. After changing into sweatpants and tossing his phone onto his pillow, he gathered up all of the t-shirts and pairs of jeans that were scattered around his room into a pile and put them into an old empty laundry basket. He dropped it through the trapdoor and climbed back down, humming to himself as he making his way back down to the first floor where the washer and dryer were.

As he walked to the laundry room, he saw a pile of Gerard's clothes laying by the door to the basement, and decided to throw those in as well. He put on an episode of Breaking Bad while the clothes washed, and then switched to Bob's Burgers when they were drying. He hummed to himself as he folded the freshly laundered clothes and paused when he heard what sounded like muffled shouting coming from the basement. The voice was familiar; Gerard must be home after all.

As Mikey walked down the steps to the basement, arms laden with a basket full of Gerard's clothes, he could tell that, yes, Gerard was definitely home. The light was shining through the crack beneath his bedroom door, and Mikey could hear him laughing through the wall. He smiled and pushed the door open to deliver the clean clothes.

"Hey Gerard? I did a load of laundry, so here's your--OH MY FUCKING GOD!"

Mikey dropped the laundry basket, which landed with a thud on the concrete floor of the basement as he took in the sight before him. Gerard was sprawled across his bed, completely naked, and nestled in between his thighs was none other than Frank fucking Iero, Mikey's _best damn friend_ , who _also_ happened to be naked and _just so splendidly_ happened to have his dick buried balls-deep inside Gerard's ass. Mikey screeched loudly in shock and tripped over his feet on his way out of the room, slamming the door behind himself as Frank rolled off of Gerard.

"Holy shit! Oh my god! Oh my god!" Mikey yelled at the top of his lungs as he sprinted up the basement steps. He heard the bedroom door open behind him, and seconds later, Frank was shouting, "Mikey! Wait!"

Mikey didn't wait. He dashed through the kitchen and up the stairs to the second floor, where at the end of the hall, the stepladder that led up to his room was still lowered. He scaled it as fast as he could, and once he was at the top, he quickly pulled it up and locked the trapdoor behind himself. Breathing heavily, he jumped to his feet and began pacing around his room with his hair bunched in his fists. No way. There was no way. His best friend could not be fucking his brother. Frank could _not_ be banging Gerard.

What the fuck was going _on_ today? Had the earth fallen through a fucking black hole into an alternate universe that altered everything Mikey knew to be true? Pete was ignoring him, Melanie was his new best friend, and now Gerard and Frank were apparently doing the humpty hump, for Christ's sake. Mikey would have been less surprised if Brendon had turned out to be straight.

Mikey vaguely registered the sound of voices beneath him, and seconds later, the handle on the trapdoor jiggled. Fists pounded on the wood as Gerard shouted from the floor below, "Mikey! Open up!"

"So this is what your idea of 'plans' is?" Mikey shouted, still pacing. "You ditch me after school with almost no warning to find a ride by myself so you can get laid with my best fucking friend? That's low, Gerard, even for you."

"Mikey, please, it's not like that--"

"Go suck a dick!" Mikey shouted sarcastically. "Oh, wait, I guess you already did that!"

"Oh my God, Mikey, fuck off!" Gerard groaned, and Frank called, "Mikey, please, please just let us up so we can explain!"

"There is no way in hell I'm letting you guys and your crusty traitor dicks anywhere near me ever again!" Mikey shrieked as he picked up a mug from atop his dresser and chucked it across the room. It smashed against the wall, and Mikey flinched at the sound, but he didn't stop. Two more mugs and a picture frame shattered before Mikey ceased, shoulders hunching as he bent over to catch his breath. The voices beneath his room had gone silent, probably frightened by the sound of the china and glass smashing, but Mikey knew that they were still there. Seething with rage, his eyes darted around the room, not knowing what to do now. An idea dawned on him as he spotted his phone lying on his pillow where he had left it earlier, and he quickly flung himself onto the bed and opened Kik.

_milky way is typing..._

milky way: FRANK IS FUCKING MY BROTHER

milky way: I REPEAT

milky way: FRANK ANTHONY IERO IS FUCKING MY BROTHER

_mother joseph is typing..._

_crybaby is typing..._

_st. patty is typing..._

_oreo is typing..._

_geebee is typing..._

mother joseph: HOLD UP

mother joseph: LETS SLOW DOWN THIS STATION WAGON FOR A SECOND ARE YOU FUCKIN SERIOUS MIKEY

st. patty: OH MY GOD IM OUT IM DONE PULL THE PLUG ON MY LIFELINE THIS FRIEND GROUP IS GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME

oreo: OH MYG OD MICKAEL ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME COULD YOU NOT HAVE WAITED FIVE FUCKING MINUTES TO TELL EVERYONE

geebee: NIKEY UNLOCK UR DOOR U LITTLE HSIT LET US EXPL A IN

_milky way is typing..._

milky way: FIRST OF ALL NIKE WAY REALLY

milky way: SECOND OF ALL GERARD I HAVE SEEN MORE OF YOU TODAY THAN I EVER WANTED TO SEE IN MY LIFE AND I DONT THINK I COULD EVEN PHYSICALLY LOOK AT YOU RIGHT NOW

milky way: THIRD OF ALL FRANK WHEN THE FUCK DID THIS HAPPEN SINCE WHEN HAVE YOU BEEN PUTTING YOUR POP TART IN MY BROTHERS TOASTER WITHOUT TELLING ME ABOUT IT

_oreo is typing..._

_crybaby is typing..._

oreo: MIKEY PLEASE OPEN YOUR DOOR I KNOKW YOU CAN HEAR US DOWN HERE

oreo: LETS TALK ABOUT THIS

milky way: WE CAN TALK HERE JUST FINE YOU FUCKERS

_st. patty is typing..._

_oreo is typing..._

_milky way is typing..._

_crybaby is typing..._

st. patty: WHY HAS MEL BEEN TYPING FOR SO LONG IMSCARE

oreo: MIKEY PLS LET ME EXPLAIN

milky way: SO FRANK

milky way: HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN PUTTING YOUR DING DONG IN MY BROTHER'S HONEY BUN

milky way: HOW LONG

oreo: MILKEY PLS GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASSHOLE AND CLAM THE FUKC DONW THIS IS LITERALLY THE FIRST TIME

_geebee is typing..._

_crybaby is typing..._

geebee: well technically its our second but

_milky way is typing..._

_oreo is typing..._

oreo: GERARD SHUTTHEFCUKUPP P WYDDDDD

milky way: WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITS YOUR SECOND

milky way: WHEN WAS THE FIRST TIME

oreo: GOOD FUCKING JOB GERARD

geebee: MIKEY IM NOT TELLING YOU

_milky way is typing..._

_crybaby is typing..._

milky way: WHEN

milky way: WAS

milky way: IT

_geebee is typing..._

geebee: I AM SILENT

_milky way is typing..._

milky way: I WILL COME DOWN THERE AND SMASH EVERY FUCKING MUG IN THIS HOUSE IF YOU DON'T TELL ME

milky way: WHEN WAS IT

_geebee is typing..._

geebee: UGH FINE OH MY GOD YOU WERE THERE

_oreo is typing..._

_milky way is typing..._

oreo: OH MYGDOD GERARD NO DONT GIVE IN AND TELL HIM THESE THINGS WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS I S2G

milky way: HWAT

milky way: WHEN

milky way: I LITERALLY HAVENT SEEN YOU SINCE THIS MORNING WHEN COULD IHAVE BEEN THERE

geebee: IN THE BATHROOM BY THE MATH CLASSROOM

geebee: WHEN YO UCAME IN AND WASHED UR HANDS AFTER SCHOOL

_milky way is typing..._

_crybaby is typing..._

milky way: AREYOUFUCKINGKIDDINGMERIGHTNOW

crybaby: According to all known laws  of aviation,  
there is no way a bee  should be able to fly.  
Its wings are too small to get  its fat little body off the ground.  
The bee, of course, flies anyway  
because bees don’t care  what humans think is impossible.

_st. patty is typing..._

_jishua is typing..._

_mother joseph is typing..._

_ryan ross's personal cum dump is typing..._

_dadlon is typing..._

st. patty: MELLANIE WTF FUCK IMFUCKING SOBBIGN

ryan ross's personal cum dump: MELNAI E PLEAWES E

jishua: melanie iS THAT PART OF THE FUCKING BEE MOVIE SCRIPT IM TYING THE NOOSE

milky way: EXCUSE ME ARE WE FORGETTING THE FACT THAT I JUST WALKED IN ON FRANK ACTUALLY POUNDING MY ACTUAL BROTHER INTO HIS ACTUAL BED IN MY ACTUA L HOUSE

_ryan ross's personal cum dump is typing..._

ryan ross's personal cum dump: RIGHT SORRY YES THATS AN IMPORTANT DEVELOPMENT YES

ryan ross's personal cum dump: ALTHOUGH TBH THE ONLY PART OF THIS SITUATION THAT SURPRISES ME IS THE FACT THAT FRANK WAS THE CHICKEN STRIP AND GEE WAS THE DIPPING SAUCE IF YKNOW WHAT I MEAN

_milky way is typing..._

_oreo is typing..._

oreo: OKAY WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

milky way: BRENDON FUCK THE FUC KOFF THAT IS MY BROTHER AND MY BEST FRIEND AN D I AM TWELVE

_ryan ross's personal cum dump is typing..._

ryan ross's personal cum dump: SORRY MIKEY BUT CMON

ryan ross's personal cum dump: DOESNT FRANK SEEM MORE LIKE THE ONE TO RECEIVE THAN TO GIVE

_geebee is typing..._

_oreo is typing..._

_crybaby is typing..._

geebee: OK TRU

oreo: I AM LIGHTLY SALTED

crybaby: IS EVERYONE IN THIS GODDAMN FRIEND GROUP HAVING SEX I MEAN CMON

crybaby: YALL ARE LIKE HORNY 12 YEAR OLDS

_milky way is typing..._

milky way: YES IM AM THE 12YEAROL D AND YUOGUYS NEED TO CALM THE FUCKDOWN

_dadlon is typing..._

dadlon: hey sorry I was at work what did I miss

_milky way is typing..._

_ryan ross's personal cum dump is typing..._

milky way: A WHOLE FUCKIN LOT THATS WHAT

ryan ross's personal cum dump: oh yknow not much just the fact that frank and gerard are doin the humpty hump yknow not that important of information

_dadlon is typing..._

dadlon: really

dadlon: well that's definitely more surprising than josh and tyler but still not totally unexpected

_crybaby is typing..._

_oreo is typing..._

_geebee is typing..._

_milky way is typing..._

oreo: what the FUCk is that supposed to mean

geebee: dallon what do u mean not totally unexpected

milky way: YES IT WAS TOTALLY UNEXPECTED YOU FUCK

milky way: THE DAY I THOUGHT MY BROTHER AND MY BEST FRIEND WOULD DO THE DO IS THE DAY I THOUGHT BRENDON WOULD TURN STRAIGHT

_dadlon is typing..._

_ryan ross's personal cum dump is typing..._

_geebee is typing..._

ryan ross's personal cum dump: yep. you were right. here i am. the heterosexual. just. heterosexualing it up. wow, vaginas

dadlon: lol

geebee: MIKEY UR SO DAMN DRAMATIC CAN U PLS CLAM THE FUCK DOWN

_milky way is typing..._

milky way: NO

milky way: I WILL NOT

milky way: HOW COULD YOU DO THAT GERARD THAT'S SO FUCKED UP

milky way: I DONT EVEN REALLY MIND THAT YOU GUYS FUCKED BUT HE'S MY BEST FRIEND

milky way: YOU COULD HAVE ASKED IF IT WOULD MAKE THINGS WEIRD OR SOMETHING

_geebee is typing..._

_oreo is typing..._

_ryan ross's personal cum dump is typing..._

_st. patty is typing..._

ryan ross's personal cum dump: aww look at mikey bein all chivalrous n shit :') brings a tear to my tired lumber eyes

st. patty: he's got a point guys

geebee: look mikes im sorry but it just sort of happened ok there wasnt really time for us to ask you

oreo: mikey we're so sorry can you please put the ladder down and let us talk this out in person

Mikey sighed, debating, and finally gave in. He unlocked the trapdoor and lowered the ladder, and Gerard and Frank were up in an instant, wrapping him in a huge sandwich hug. Mikey felt content for half a second before he remembered what they had just been doing and how many bodily fluids were probably being smeared on him now.

"Oh my God, eww! Get off!" He screeched as he ducked out from beneath them and flopped onto the bed. Gerard and Frank exchanged a look.

"Mikey, we're so sorry," Frank began, and Mikey held up a hand.

"I'm gonna stop you right there," he declared. Frank and Gerard looked nervous as Mikey took a deep breath.

"You guys don't have anything to apologize for. It's good."

Gerard blinked. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah, I am. Sure, it's gonna be weird as fuck at first, but I mean, if you guys are happy, I'm cool with it." He aimed an accusing finger at Gerard. "But if you fuck and chuck my best friend, I'll kick your fucking ass. And if _you_ \--" he pointed at Frank "--do _anything_ to hurt my brother, you'll wish you'd never met Michael James Way."

Frank smiled. "Love you too, Mikey."

"Aww, my little brother is growing up! He's all mature and shit!" Gerard squealed, and tried to wrap Mikey in another hug. Mikey's lip curled as he scooted backwards on the bed and thought about all the bodily fluids.

"Okay, okay, before you hug me, go take a fucking shower, you animals. I don't want your nasty juices all over me. Get out." Mikey grabbed their shoulders and shoved them back towards the trapdoor. As they climbed down, Mikey waved and called, "Shower together to save water!"

Frank turned redder than the a tomato, Gerard flipped him off.

Mikey sat on his bed for a few minutes until he heard the shower turn on downstairs. He sighed and climbed down the ladder himself, heading to the kitchen to start something for dinner. Gerard and Mikey's parents were both doctors, and they worked pretty weird hours, so Mikey was used to feeding himself most evenings. He debated making spaghetti, but ultimately decided against it and picked up the phone to order a pizza.

By the time Gerard and Frank came downstairs to the kitchen, both still dripping from their showers (Mikey hoped it was _showers_ , plural; he hadn't been serious when he'd told them to shower together), Mikey was carrying the pizzas from the front door to the kitchen. He set the two boxes on the island and grabbed three slices out of the box labeled "bacon and green pepper" before sitting down on the couch and resuming the episode of Bob's Burgers he'd been watching.

"Can't we watch something else?" Gerard complained as he sat next to Mikey, carrying a plate laden with slices of sausage and pepperoni. "This is, like, the only show you ever watch, and it's not even that good."

"Nah, son. This is what you get for making me listen to your shitty country music in the car," Mikey replied, pushing the remote behind his back into the couch cushion so Gerard couldn't reach it.

"Mikes, could you please change the channel?" Frank asked sweetly as he sat on his other side. Mikey smirked and pulled the remote out, flipping back to Breaking Bad. He could feel Gerard glaring at the side of his head as he stared at the TV and munched his pizza.

"Such an ass," Gerard grumbled as he settled into the couch. "Such an ass."

The three of them watched TV for a few hours, until well after the sun went down. When Mikey checked his phone for any new texts, "11:34" stared up him from the clock on the lock screen. Mikey blinked.

"Holy shit, it's almost midnight. We should go to bed," he informed Gerard, who looked at Frank.

"Do you want to stay over?" Gerard asked, and Frank blushed (fucking _blushed_ , Mikey was going to throw up) and replied, "Yeah, that'd be good."

"Ugh. Keep it PG down there, you guys. If I can hear you, you're too loud," Mikey declared, and Frank and Gerard were all smiley and blushy and disgusting Mikey was _so happy_ because his brother was happy and Frank was happy and for the second time today, Mikey was thinking about something other than Pete.

To be honest, even though school had been shitty, the rest of the day after school hadn't been too bad. Besides, you know, the whole Pete flirting with the trig girl thing. And walking in on Frank and Gerard. But Mikey wasn't going to think about those. Instead, he thought about Melanie, and how nice she'd been to him. He thought about the way Frank's face lit up when he looked at Gerard when he thought Mikey wasn't looking. He thought about how maybe things was actually going to be alright.

Mikey bid goodnight to Gerard and Frank and ascended the steps to the second floor. After brushing his teeth in the bathroom at the end of the hall, he climbed the ladder up to his room and flopped across his bed.

Mikey's body deflated as he felt his phone vibrate in his back pocket. Really? He had just gotten comfortable. He rolled over and pulled his phone out, breath catching in his throat as his eyes glanced over the screen.

_Kik: 1 new message_

Peter: hey, can we talk?

The sound of Mikey's phone shattering against the wall could be heard all the way from Gerard's bedroom in the basement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so. anyways.
> 
> just so you know, next week will be back to normal with our Joshler-Brallon storyline. there just needed to be some exposition witht the other characters and some drama for the future, because why the fuck wouldn't I write angst when I can?
> 
> also, some information: I'm definitely doing a bonus chapter. it's happening. and also, in case anyone was wondering, I've already started planning another separate fic to start after this one is over. it's still in the woodworks, so I'm not saying too much about it yet, but love writing these characters and I just thought I'd let you all know that I'm definitely not abandoning them as soon as this story is finished. 
> 
> anyways, see you next week you fucks


	4. Thursday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brendon could tell from the moment he woke up that today was going to be different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> helo
> 
> it me
> 
> sorry i haven't updated in so long but heres the next chapter and I apologize for any mistakes but please enjoy

Brendon could tell from the moment he woke up that today was going to be different.

He was jumpy. Well, he was always jumpy--ADHD did tend to have that effect--but today he just absolutely _couldn't_ stop moving. The second his alarm went off, he was out of bed and in the shower, rushing through the motions of shampooing and conditioning and scrubbing under the folds. Breakfast, which was usually a rushed affair anyways, was hurried even more than normal as Brendon gulped down a bowl of cereal at top speed and narrowly avoided accidentally launching a gallon of milk into his father's face as he tried to return it to the refrigerator.

After bidding his parents a quick goodbye, he bounced out the front door to his car, an old Ford truck that his uncle had found in the junkyard downtown and had fixed up to give to Brendon for his sixteenth birthday. It was an ugly piece of junk that disliked the cold and hated Brendon even more, and half the time in the winter, it refused to start. Today was one of those days; after turning the key at least a dozen times and getting nothing, Brendon gave up and texted Josh with a sigh.

ryan ross's personal cum dump: heey jimmy can i get a ride my car willn't start today

_jishua is typing..._

jishua: willn't

jishua: yeah sure whatever just walk over I'm about to leave

Brendon wasted no time climbing over the fence into Josh's backyard and making a beeline for the car. The passenger door was unlocked, but Josh wasn't there yet, so Brendon sat alone for a couple minutes and hummed to himself as he scrolled through his Instagram feed. Nothing was new, and a second later, Josh walked out the front door of his house, so Brendon turned off his phone and greeted him with a smile as he climbed into the driver's seat.

"Good morning, Jimothy," he said brightly, and Josh sighed.

"So it's one of _those_ days, is it?" He asked as he turned on the car and cranked up the heat.

Brendon raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean, one of _those_ days?"

"You know. One of those _Brendon_ days," Josh said, as if Brendon was supposed to know what that meant. "One of those days where you can't sit still and you're even more obnoxious than usual."

"Excuse me, I am not obnoxious," Brendon declared indignantly. Josh rolled his eyes.

"Okay. Sure." He pulled out of the driveway and glanced at Brendon out of the corner of his eye. "So...how's the Dallon thing going?"

"Ahh, the _Dallon_ thing. Just peachy, thanks," Brendon replied. "Why do you ask?"

"Oh. No reason." There was obviously a reason. Brendon turned and squinted at the side of Josh's head.

"Why do you ask?" He repeated. Josh kept his eyes on the road and resisted a smile.

"I was just wondering, dude," Josh emphasized, and even though it was clear as day that he was hiding something--he had always been terrible at keeping secrets, even worse than Melanie--Brendon dismissed it with a shrug and faced forward again.

"While we're on the subject, how's the Tyler thing?" He asked, leveling the playing field. Josh's hands tightened on the steering wheel, and Brendon resisted a smirk.

"The Tyler thing's fine," Josh replied stiffly.

"So, you haven't made any progress," Brendon acknowledged, and Josh sighed in exasperation.

"None! I don't know where to go from here! I'm so bad at all this stuff, and besides, he made it kind of awkward to even talk to each other when he followed me into the bathroom and, like, sprung me with a handjob. What do you even say to somebody after that?" He asked in one big breath. Brendon reached over and patted his shoulder sympathetically.

"I feel you, bro. It must be so terrible to have a friend who wants to bang you and is willing to do it with no strings attached."

"Oh, shut the fuck up, you ass. That's not how it is," Josh scowled, shrugging Brendon's hand off his shoulder. "We never said it was no strings attached."

"Well, you never said it wasn't, either."

"I know, but--" Josh's knuckles turned white, and Brendon almost missed his next words because he spoke so quietly, "I don't want it to be no strings attached."

"Aww, _really_? That's so sweet!" Brendon folded his hands and batted his eyelashes. "Wittle Jishua has a real crush! My baby boy is all grown up!"

"I swear to God I'll take a massive dump on your forehead if you don't shut up right now," Josh threatened, but he was laughing a little in spite of himself. Brendon smiled, happy to see Josh happy.

"So, okay." Brendon cleared his throat and quickly put a serious expression on his face. "I have something important to ask you."

"Um. Okay." Josh shifted nervously, sensing that the teasing mood was gone. "What is it?"

Brendon took a deep breath and paused for effect, letting the tension roll over the both of them, before asking, "What's our plan for the lit project?"

The tension was broken as Josh sighed, shoulders sagging, and Brendon laughed. "Dude," Josh said, "You scared the shit out of me. I thought it was _actually_ going to be something important."

"You should've known. It is one of those _Brendon_ days, after all," Brendon chastised him in what was supposed to be a mom voice. Even though Josh tried to hide it, Brendon saw him smile.

"The plan for the lit project is that you're going to do all the work since you've made me suffer through your Dallon drama all week," Josh clarified, and Brendon groaned.

"C'mon, dude, you can't do that. That's not right, it's not Christian," he argued. Josh glared at him.

"Yes I fucking can! It's not my fault I got stuck in the middle of your dumb bullshit! Now you gotta pay the price and do all our homework," Josh told him.

"The day I do an entire project by myself is the day I eat a pussy," Brendon declared. Josh snickered and shrugged.

"Better go buy some dental dams then, son, 'cause Sarah's waiting."

"Ugh, don't even _talk_ to me about Sarah Orzechowski, you cockjockey. She's so clingy. If she wants to fuck me so bad she can take her perky little head and just shove it up my ass. It'd shut her up, at least."

Josh chuckled. "She'd probably be into that, though."

"I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that, you nasty fuck. I am a good Christian boy and I will not tolerate such lewd language and themes in my presence."

"Ass, titties, ass, ass, titties, titties, ass, titties--"

"Fuck you, Josh."

The banter continued as they rolled into the school parking lot with a couple minutes to spare. Together, they walked into school and headed for the lit classroom, Brendon covering his ears with his hands and shouting how he was an innocent child not to be tainted as Josh chanted cuss words at him. Through the chaos of the early morning, Brendon's heart began to pick up its pace as they approached the door to Ms. Roth's room. Dallon was going to be in there. Dallon, who was still mad at Brendon for ditching him, and for changing his kik username, and for talking about going back to Ryan. Brendon masked his face with a layer of calm to hide his nerves and walked into the classroom side-by-side with Josh.

There he was, talking to Tyler at his desk. He was wearing a black t-shirt and a pair of jeans whose tightness around the waist didn't go unnoticed by Brendon. Dallon had his back to the door, but when Tyler waved at Josh over his shoulder, he turned around, and the room seemed to drop ten degrees as his icy eyes met Brendon's faux-calm expession. Brendon could tell that Dallon could see through the charade. He knew how anxious Brendon was. His eyes narrowed, and his left hand curled ever so slowly into a fist at his side as he stared at Brendon.

Brendon Urie had never used the word _meek_ to describe himself before, but that was exactly how he felt as Dallon haughtily turned his back on him and continued his conversation with Tyler. Brendon ducked his head and scurried to his desk with his metaphorical tail tucked between his legs.

To say the rest of the period was awkward would be an understatement. Everyone in the room could feel the tension between Brendon and Dallon, even Ms. Roth, who hadn't noticed that time Gerard had snuck a joint into the room and had passed it around between himself and his friends until they were all higher than a kite. Tyler and Josh, thankfully, remained in their seats and didn't try to bring them together for the partner work. Brendon kept his head down, finished the research for his and Josh's project and pretended like he couldn't feel Dallon's gaze burning red-hot into the side of his head the entire time.

\---

Brendon had math second period. Math was good. Math was easy, not because Brendon understood numbers--quite the opposite, actually--but because for one thing, Ms. Wyatt was one of the chillest teachers Brendon had ever had, and for another thing, Dallon was not in this class.

Brendon sat down in his usual seat by the door and pulled out his phone beneath his desk, nodding to Melanie as she walked past him to her seat on the other side of the room. After scrolling through Instagram again--still nothing new--Brendon checked his Twitter. He raised an eyebrow as he moved down his feed and saw that Dallon had tweeted something last night that he hadn't seen.

@dadlonweekes: could this be love at first sight, or should I walk by again? <3

_Oh, hell no._

_ryan ross's personal cum dump is typing..._

ryan ross's personal cum dump: Dallon :)

ryan ross's personal cum dump: Who :) The :) Fuck :) Is :) That :) Tweet :) About :)

_jishua is typing..._

_mother joseph is typing..._

_geebee is typing..._

_dadlon is typing..._

jishua: Ffuck he's finally seen

mother joseph: sssshhhhiieeeeeuuuuutttt

jishua: now you see why I was asking you about the dallon thing in the car earlier

geebee: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) this gonn be l i t

dadlon: what tweet? :D

_mother joseph is typing..._

_oreo is typing..._

_milky way is typing..._

_ryan ross's personal cum dump is typing..._

mother joseph: daAllon cLAm DowN buddie

oreo: nope nopity nope i am not ready for this level of hell's fury yet today please try again later

milky way: and i thought tyler and josh were havin some drama right now but oh no this is worse i think it is time for this 12yerold to skidoo

ryan ross's personal cum dump: Dallon James Weekes you know exactly what tweet I'm talking about now who the fuck

_dadlon is typing..._

dadlon: dunno :P

_mother joseph is typing..._

_crybaby is typing..._

_ryan ross's personal cum dump is typing..._

mother joseph: FUcK

crybaby: dallon if you ever use :P again i will shit in ur goddamn mouth while you sleep

ryan ross's personal cum dump: dallon i swear to god if you don't tell me im never going to touch you or talk to you again

_mother joseph is typing..._

_dadlon is typing..._

mother joseph: F U c K

dadlon: why would you? you've obviously got ryan again now and I've got somebody else too so its all good :)

_ryan ross's personal cum dump is typing..._

ryan ross's personal cum dump: You know what Dallon? You're totally right.

ryan ross's personal cum dump: You know what this means?

ryan ross's personal cum dump: Dallon Weekes, we are officially over.

Brendon could hear Melanie's breath hitch from across the classroom. It was a lie, of course; it was the biggest lie Brendon had ever told, and he had once told his mother that he was going on a prayer retreat for a weekend back in his freshman year when he had actually gone up to the Rosses' lake house with Ryan and his older brothers and had spent the entire two days in bed with his then-boyfriend. Breaking up with Dallon was the last thing on earth Brendon wanted to do, but he'd already said it in writing in front of all of their friends. He couldn't back down now.

_crybaby is typing..._

_oreo is typing..._

_Peter is typing..._

_st. patty is typing..._

_jishua is typing..._

_milky way is typing..._

_geebee is typing..._

_mother joseph is typing..._

crybaby: I CALL BULLSHIT I CALL ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL

crybaby: BRENDON URIE LOOK AT ME AND BLINK ONCE IF YOU'RE FOR SERIOUS AND BLINK TWICE IF YOU'RE FOR JOKING

oreo: WHAT DID WE JUST WITNESS

Peter: FUK ME IN THE ASSHOLE IS THE WORLD ENDING OR DID DALLON AND BRENDON JUST BREAK UP IDK BUT ITS BASICALLY THE SAME THING RIGHT

_crybaby is typing..._

crybaby: HE BLINKED THREE TIMES WHATDOESTHISMEAN

st. patty: WHOS READY FOR DEATH? IT ME

jishua: (wake me up) WAKE ME UP INSI(can't wake up) WAKE ME UP INS(save me)

milky way: F U C K IN S A V AG E

geebee: FUCK ME ASSHOLE THIS IS INTENSE

mother joseph: oooooOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH MMMY GOD BRENDON DALLON JSUT STOOD THE FUCK UP AND WALKED OUT OF CLASS HE DIDNT EVEN SAY A WORD THAT BOY IS #GONE

Brendon's heart skipped a beat. Dallon had walked out of study hall? Without even telling the teacher? That was the most un-Dallon thing he'd ever heard. Dallon was the dad of the friend group. He was the responsible one. He didn't just walk out of class.

Moments later, Brendon understood why, as he phone buzzed with a new notification.

_Kik: 1 new message_

dadlon: you either come to the bathroom right fucking now or I'll take your word and we'll be done for good this is your only chance Brendon

Brendon didn't hesitate. He could feel Melanie's eyes on him as he slid his phone into his pocket and grabbed his bag. He was almost out the door when Ms. Wyatt cleared her throat and said, "Going somewhere, Mr. Urie?"

"My mom just texted me that my brother is in the hospital," Brendon replied instantly as he turned around with pleading eyes. "She said call her as soon as possible, and I was just--"

"Okay, okay. Go." Ms. Wyatt waved him out of the classroom, staring after him with sympathetic eyes. "If you end up leaving school, just make sure you get the notes, alright?"

"Yes, ma'am," he replied, not bothering to close the door behind him as he stepped into the hall. His phone buzzed, and, thinking it was Dallon, he held his breath and pulled it out of his pocket.

crybaby: your face might as well be an asshole what with all the bullshit that comes out of your mouth

Brendon almost rolled his eyes, but quickly remembered his current situation, and Melanie was thrown to the back of his mind. He practically flew to the end of the hall and stopped just outside the bathroom door, pausing as the reality of the situation hit him. Dallon thought Brendon was being serious. Dallon thought Brendon actually wanted to break up with him. Dallon thought Brendon was ditching him for Ryan.

Brendon took a deep breath and pushed the door open.

The bathroom was dark, and at first, Brendon thought it was empty. But then the shadows beneath the windows on the other side of the room moved, and there was Dallon, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and a stormy expression on his face. The two of them sized each other up as a silent trance fell over the room, and Brendon stood stock still as he waited for Dallon to breathe, to move, to just _say something already._

"You know, Brendon, you're a real piece of shit sometimes."

The trance was broken. Brendon swallowed loudly. "Dal--

"Save it," Dallon interrupted, holding up an hand and closing his eyes. "Listen. Ditching me in the bathroom was kind of fun. It was a twist, y'know? Spiced things up a little. But when you started talking about fucking your ex, who I _know_ for a _fact_ you're still not over, and then you go and _break up with me_ over _text_ in the fucking _group chat_ with _all_ our friends, that's when it stops being funny."

Brendon's throat was dry. "Dallon, I don't--"

"No. I'm not done. I knew from the start that I was the rebound. I knew you needed to get over Ryan. I got that, and I was okay with it. I liked you, and I was happy to take anything I could get from you. But I thought that--well, I thought maybe eventually, I could be more than the quick fuck you needed to forget your ex. I thought I was more than that." He smiled bitterly. "I guess I was mistaken."

"Dallon, no, you've got it all wrong," Brendon exclaimed, panicked. He had to make Dallon understand, had to have him see that it was all just a joke. "I was never going to go back to him, I _swear_. I wasn't serious. I don't want Ryan, I want you. Breaking up with you is the last thing I want to do. I was just trying to get you worked up."

When Dallon did nothing but squint disbelievingly at him, he continued, "You're not the rebound, Dal, you never were. This was all a joke, I swear. I--I mean--" Brendon braced himself for what he was about to do. "I, like, I love you, Dallon. I love you, and I would rather eat shit than leave you for Ryan, okay? You have to believe me."

All traces of anger drained from Dallon's face, which was now a mask of shock. "Did you--did you just--?"

"You don't have to say it back. I just wanted you to know," Brendon said, already regretting saying it out loud. It was too soon, he should have known that. "I just--"

Brendon's words were cut off as Dallon strode across the room and smushed their lips together.

Brendon froze in shock, but quickly melted into the kiss, reaching up to wrap his arms around Dallon's neck. Dallon secured his hands on Brendon's waist and pulled him closer so that their chests were pressed together and moaned into Brendon's mouth. Brendon tipped his face up, seeking more, and whimpered softly when Dallon pulled away.

"Hold on," he murmured, breathing heavily. Brendon blinked as Dallon listened intently to something he couldn't hear, and suddenly, Dallon smiled.

"I was right," he muttered, "she's outside the door."

"What? Do you mean Melanie?"

"Who else?" Dallon chuckled softly. "Should we scare her off?"

"Well, even though the thought of her listening to us having the sex is so appealing, I'm afraid that I'm not really down for that today, so, yeah, I guess we should."

Dallon nodded once and cleared his throat. "I'll consider taking you back," he announced in a much louder voice as his fingers curled into Brendon's shirt, "but I want you to beg for it. I want you on your knees like the little slut you are and I want you to beg for it until you cry."

Brendon resisted a laugh and opened his mouth to reply, but Dallon raised an eyebrow and nudged him, and suddenly, Brendon understood.

"You're serious?" He whisper-yelled, and when Dallon only smirked, he sighed and did as he was told. Dallon's fingers threaded through his hair as he declared in a loud, whiney voice, "Please, Dallon, please, please. I'm so sorry, please fuck me, I'll never do it again, please."

Dallon was fighting off giggles as he said in a fake-breathy voice, "Shit, babe, okay, that's good. You're so perfect, babe, I'll give it to you now, it's okay, shh, shh, it's okay."

"Oh, Dallon, ungh, oh, _God_ , please, yes, please--" Brendon began, but Dallon slapped a hand over his mouth to stop him. They listened to the sound of footsteps running in the opposite direction for a few seconds until they faded out before bursting into laughter. Brendon clambered to his feet and enveloped Dallon in a warm hug.

"That was incredible," he said, and Dallon giggled into his shoulder as his fingers traced up and down Brendon's back.

"I doubt she'll be following us again any time soon, but the whole chat probably knows about this by now," Dallon informed him. Brendon shrugged.

"I mean, we know everything about all of them, so I guess it's only fair," he murmured, and Dallon's arms tightened around him before pulling away.

"Well, now that this is all taken care of, then I guess I'll head back to class..." Dallon looked at Brendon through long lashes with a fake-unsure expression on his face, and Brendon rolled his eyes, seeing through the charade easily.

"You go right ahead, Dallon. I have some math homework to catch up on anyways," he replied steadily, picking up his bag and unlocking the door. He pulled on the handle, and for a second, he panicked, thinking that Dallon was actually going to let him go again, but then the voice behind him quickly said, "Wait."

Brendon smiled to himself and let go of the door.

\---

_crybaby is typing..._

crybaby: bum ba dum bum bum gUESS WHO'S BACK AND FUCKING AGAAAIN

_mother joseph is typing..._

mother joseph: no

mother joseph: nO

mother joseph: THEY ARE NOT

_crybaby is typing..._

crybaby: OH YES THEY ARE

_crybaby has changed the group name to **brendons goin 2 #poundtown 2k16**_

_geebee is typing..._

_milky way is typing..._

_oreo is typing..._

_jishua is typing..._

_mother joseph is typing..._

geebee: NO WAY

milky way: YESYESYESYESYESYESYE

oreo: GOD IS REAL GOD IS ALIVE AND GOD HAS PUT DALLON'S BALONEY PONY BACK IN BRENDON'S SAUSAGE POCKET TODAY IS SUCH A DAY

jishua: WOW THAT IS SO WILD WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE

mother joseph: MELANIE GO AFTER THEM FOLLOW THEM PLEASE PLEASE DO IT DO IT DOIT

_crybaby is typing..._

crybaby: YOU ACT LIKE IM NOT ALREADY OUTSIDE THE BATHROOM DOOR

_mother joseph is typing..._

_geebee is typing..._

mother joseph: WAHT IS HAPPENIGN TELL US EVERYTHIGNG

geebee: MIKEY COVER YUOR SMALL 3EYAR OLD EARS

_milky way is typing..._

_crybaby is typing..._

milky way: GERARD I SAW YOU GET FUCKED BY FRANK YESTERDAY IVE BEEN DESENSITIZED TO ANYTHING BDEN AND DAD COULD BE DOING RIGH TNOW

crybaby: OHMYGOD OHMY GOD YOU GUYS YOU GUYS BRENDON FUCKIN SAID IT

_mother joseph is typing..._

_geebee is typing..._

mother joseph: SAID WHAT WOMAN THE SUSPENSE IS KILLIN ME

geebee: MEL YA GONNA HAVE TO BE A BIT MORE SPECIFIC PLEASE N THANK

_crybaby is typing..._

crybaby: BRENDON SAID I LOVE YOU

crybaby: BRENDON BOYD URIE TOLD DALLON JAMES WEEKES THAT HE LOVES HIM

crybaby: I H AV E AS CEND ED

_mother joseph is typing..._

_geebee is typing..._

_st. patty is typing..._

_oreo is typing..._

_milky way is typing..._

_Peter is typing..._

_jishua is typing..._

mother joseph: H WAT I AM GOING TOSCREAM THIS IS NEWS

geebee: I AM ALIVE & LIVING YEP THAT'S FOR SURE

st. patty: IS THIS THE REAL LIFE OR IS THIS JUST FANTASY CAUGHT IN A LANDSLIDE NO ESCAPE FROM REALITY

oreo: NUT ALLLLL IN THIS PUSSY BOI

milky way: WAHT IS HAPPENING TO THIS FRIEND GROUP

_mother joseph named the chat **"i love you" -brednin urkie 2 dadlon weekend 2k16**_

milky way: ITS MY MOM AND DAD EVERYBODY LOOK ITS MY MOM AND DAD

Peter: ORUAORIGHAPODFJAOUDHF;AORHFOAWRETHLIUGASLDHF

jishua: MEL WHAT ELSE ISHAPPENING WE MUST KNWO

_crybaby is typing..._

crybaby: 'i want you to beg for it. i want u on ur knees like the slut u are and i want u to beg me for it until u cry' -aCTuaL dad weekes 2016

_mother joseph is typing..._

mother joseph: I CALL BULLSHIT I CALL BULLSHIT THERE IS NOWAY DAD ACTUALLY SAID THAT

mother joseph: DALLON WEEKES IS THE MOST VANILLA ASS MOTHERFUCKER I KNOW HE DID NOT TELL BRENDON TO BEG HIM FOR HIS DICK

_crybaby is typing..._

crybaby: 'pls dallon pls pls im so sorry pls fuck me ill never do it again pls' -brendon fUCkin urie 2016

_mother joseph is typing..._

_oreo is typing..._

_geebee is typing..._

mother joseph: FUCK

oreo: DO U EVER JUST WANT DEATH SO BAD

geebee: I AM ALIVE AND I AM LIVING MY HEART IS BEATING AND BLOOD IS PUMPING THROUGH MY VEINS I AM BREATHING AND I AM SEEING THE WORLD IN COLOR AND DALLON WEEKES HAS A BEGGING KINK

_crybaby is typing..._

crybaby: 'shit babe ok thats good ur so perfect ill give it to u now its ok shh shh its ok' -dallon wanks 2016 and THAT'S ALL FOLKS IT IS TIME FOR MELANIE TO SKIDOO

_mother joseph is typing..._

_oreo is typing..._

_jishua is typing..._

_Peter is typing..._

_geebee is typing..._

_milky way is typing..._

jishua: IMFUCKINGSOBBING MELANIE PLEAWE

geebee: GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD FOR I HAVE ASCENDED

oreo: GOD BLESS AMERICA THIS IS SUCH A DAY

milky way: WHAT IDD I DO TO DESERVE THIS TORTURE IM JUST A SMALL TOWN GIRL LIVIN IN A LONELY WORLD TOOK A MIDNIGHT TRIAN GOIN ANYWHERE I DIDN'T EXPECT TO BE ASSAULTED BY SUCH UNHOLY BEHAVIOR SO EARLY ON THIS MORN

mother joseph: I SWEAR ON MY PLATINUM EDITION OF FIFTY SHADES OF GRAY THAT THIS SQUAD IS GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME

Josh sat back in his chair as the chat continued to blow up with the news of Dallon and Brendon's reunion. Tyler and Gerard, who were across the room, were staring at their phones and holding back laughter as the messages kept coming in. Josh opened his mouth to say something to them, but was interrupted as he got a notification, not from the group chat, but from a private chat with Melanie.

crybaby: hey I need you to meet me in the library immediately I have to tell you something really important

_jishua is typing..._

jishua: about brendon and dallon?

_crybaby is typing..._

crybaby: no about something else

crybaby: come asap it's urgent

Well. That wasn't mysterious or worrying at all. Josh sighed and grabbed his bag, mumbling a half-assed excuse to Mr. Maron and shooting a very confused Tyler and Gerard a "fuck if I know" look before zooming out of his classroom and turning down the main hallway towards the lit corridor.

The library was almost empty when Josh walked in, save for a couple freshmen Josh didn't recognize and the cranky old librarian whose name he could never remember. As he looked around, searching for the familiar gap-toothed smile, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket again.

crybaby: im behind the nonfiction section come quick

Josh quickly strode to the very last aisle of books, where, sure enough. Melanie was waiting for him. Her eyebrows were knitted together in a frown as she chewed on her bottom lip, and after a moment, Josh registered that her fingertips were tapping Wake Me Up When September Ends against her binder.

"Oh, God, Green Day. You're nervous."

Melanie jumped. "Holy shit, you scared me."

"What are you nervous about?"

Melanie took a deep breath. "Oh. Oh my God. Okay. You're not going to believe me."

"Melanie."

" _Okay_. Just a warning, though, you're going to think I'm joking."

Josh blinked. "Why the hell would I think you're jo--"

"Mikey and Pete are dating."

Josh blinked. "What?"

Melanie sighed. "You heard me.

"What--I don't--"

"I told you you'd think I was joking."

"I don't--but--really?"

"No, Josh, it's a fucking prank. Yes, really."

"Wow. I mean--holy shit. Pete and Mikey. Wow." Josh ran a hand through his hair. "You mean like, for real, for real?"

"Yes, for real, for real! They're even realer than Dallon and Brendon," Melanie explained, and when Josh raised a disbelieving eyebrow, she continued, "I'm dead fucking serious! They've actually done other things besides bang. They've, like, gone on _dates_ and stuff. Who the fuck goes on dates anymore? They're like an old married cou--"

"Okay, okay. Enough. I mean, Brendon and Dallon _did_ just get to the 'I love you' stage of their relationship, which is probably more serious than whatever Pete and Mikey have got going on, but I believe you." Josh paused. "How the hell did you find out?"

"Well, that's kind of the thing. Yesterday I came in here to work on my calculus because I can't get shit done in that class with Brendon constantly bitching about Dallon not putting out, and I was looking for a book in the next aisle over and I thought I heard somebody crying," Melanie explained. "I came around the corner and, holy shit, it was Mikey. He told me that him and Pete have been secretly dating since last summer, and that now they're fighting because he wants to tell people that they're dating but Pete doesn't, and apparently Pete threatened to break up with him, and I guess they haven't talked since Tuesday."

"What the hell? That's so fucking shitty."

"You're telling me," Melanie muttered as her fingers danced against her binder. Josh frowned.

"I never really realized how much of a little douchebag Pete is. Damn."

"Me, neither. I always kind of liked him, but after seeing the way Mikey was last night, that flew out the window. I was ready to wring his fucking throat," Melanie said, and Josh nodded in agreement.

"We gotta do something about this, Mel. Mikey doesn't deserve to be treated all shitty like that," he declared, and Melanie's shoulders slumped.

"I know, but what can we do? Besides out them to the whole world, I mean, and I'm not doing that. It would hurt Mikey as much as it would hurt Pete."

"Agreed. I guess we could try scaring him into apologizing. Freak him out or something."

"Josh, I'm five foot two, and you have pink hair. We're not exactly the most intimidating kids on the block."

"Okay, okay. So that's out. I don't--wait..." A smile was crawling its way onto Josh's face as he thought about it "...maybe we could try guilt-tripping him."

"Wow, _really_? The magnificent Josh Dun is willing to sink as low as guilt-tripping an innocent little junior? I'm impressed." Melanie raised an eyebrow, and Josh rolled his eyes.

"He's not innocent, Mel, and I'm hardly magnificent," Josh sighed. "So how are we going to go about this?"

"Who's _we_? This was your idea, my dear Jishua," Melanie said indignantly. "You're going to talk to that little trash bag, and I'm going to sit back here and keep an eye on Mikey. You know I'm not about the confrontation life."

"Well, how the hell am I supposed talk to him?" Josh asked hotly. Melanie shrugged and threw a hand in the air.

"Fuck if I know! Corner him after school or something. Make sure there's no way for him to run away, because you know he'll try to. That kid hates confrontation more than I do."

"Ugh, fine. I guess I'll try that," Josh grumbled. "And I guess you can stay here as long as you're making sure Mikey's okay. I'm worried about him. He's too sweet to get thrown under the bus like this, and I don't know if he can handle any more shit what with all he's been dealing with lately."

"That's what I'm saying." Melanie sighed and set her binder on the shelf behind them before enveloping Josh in a bubblegum-scented hug. "Thank you so much for helping me with this. I just, if you'd seen the way Mikey was yesterday, you would've hunted Pete down and kicked his ass on the spot. I can't do that on my own, so I have to use intimidation tactics."

"And even those don't work, because you're five foot two, and I have pink hair," Josh finished, and winced as she leaned back and punched him on the shoulder.

"We should get back," Melanie said, picking up her binder and turning to leave. As she and Josh rounded the corner, they almost ran headfirst into none other than Ashley Frangipane and the boy she had in tow, who were clearly intending to use the back of the library the same way Brendon and Dallon were currently using the bathroom at the end of the math hallway. The four of them froze, sizing each other up, and Melanie stared at Ashley with a stunned expression on her face. After a few moments, Ashley recovered some sense and sneered, "What are you looking at, Crybaby?"

Melanie blinked and quickly seemed to recover. "Oh, nothing. I was just surprised because I couldn't tell if that was your ass or your face for a second." She pointed at Ashley's face and smirked. "Turns out it was your ass."

With that, she grabbed Josh's hand and pulled him past the gaping girl and her snickering fuckbuddy. She didn't let go until they were out of the library and down the hall by the water fountains, where she let out the breath she'd been holding. Josh smiled sympathetically and patted her shoulder.

"I'm sorry she's literally the worst," he said, and Melanie shrugged.

"It's fine. I'm used to it by now, anyways," she replied, and Josh frowned. Melanie and Josh had known Ashley since kindergarten, and Melanie and Ashley had actually been best friends up until about seventh grade, when Ashley decided that she was too cool for Melanie and had abandoned her for "better" friends. When Melanie had come out of the closet as bisexual in eighth grade, that was the beginning of the end. As soon as Ashley had heard about it, she had teased Melanie until she locked herself in a bathroom stall and cried, and then she had teased her even more for being a crybaby. Crybaby became Melanie's new nickname, and instead of running from it, she embraced it. Melanie became better known as Crybaby than by her own name, which did nothing to help her feud with Ashley. In fact, it only infuriated the Poot Lovato-lookalike more. It was universal knowledge that Ashley and Melanie hated each other, and even the teachers were too smart to try to get them to work together in class.

It was also universal knowledge of everyone in their friend group that Melanie had had a crush on Ashley since before Brendon and Dallon even knew each other. She'd been boner for that "I'm offended by everything" haircut since the eighth grade, and nobody hesitated to remind her of this every time she complained about something Ashley did.

"We really should get back to class, though," Josh said, and Melanie sighed and nodded in agreement. The two walked together to the main hallway, where they bid each other adieu and walked back to their own respective classrooms, Melanie to math and Josh to study hall.

Josh wasn't surprised that Dallon's seat was still empty when he walked back into study hall. Gerard was looking down at his phone, and Tyler stared at Josh with raised eyebrows as he returned to his seat, clearly wondering where he had been. Josh watched him pull out his phone, and seconds later felt his own vibrate in his pocket.

_Kik: 1 new message_

mother joseph: where the fuck did u go

_jishua is typing..._

jishua: melanie wanted me to meet her in the library to tell me something

_mother joseph is typing..._

mother joseph: oh thank god

mother joseph: i was worried you had joined brendon and dallon for a second

_jishua is typing..._

jishua: Ew.

_mother joseph is typing..._

mother joseph: what did melanie want to tell u im curious now

_jishua is typing..._

jishua: I can't tell you

_mother joseph is typing..._

mother joseph: Ew.

mother joseph: josh keeping secrets is very bad for our relationship

mother joseph: how do u expect to get laid if u act like this

_jishua is typing..._

jishua: hoold on who said anything about getting laid

_mother joseph is typing..._

mother joseph: nobody did i just thought it was kind of implied when u let me give you a handjob on tuesday

mother joseph: but if you don't wanna just forget I said anything

_jishua is typing..._

jishua: I never said I didn't wanna

jishua: wait

jishua: is this what this conversation is now

_mother joseph is typing..._

mother joseph: i think so

mother joseph: so do u wanna

mother joseph: bang I mean

mother joseph: bc if you don't thats ok too I just wanna know

_jishua is typing..._

jishua: Tyler

jishua: I do want to bang you

jishua: like really badly

_mother joseph is typing..._

mother joseph: What a Relieve

mother joseph: so are we gonna pick a time and place or

_jishua is typing..._

jishua: hmm

jishua: tomorrow is Friday

_mother joseph is typing..._

mother joseph: Yes

_jishua is typing..._

jishua: my parents just happen to have a dinner party for my dad's work and my siblings are all gonna be at friend's houses or my grandma's bc my parents are gonna get a hotel room since it's in the city

_mother joseph is typing..._

mother joseph: How Very Convenient

_jishua is typing..._

jishua: Indeed

mother joseph: so

mother joseph: should I just come home with you after school I guess

_jishua is typing..._

jishua: I guess

jishua: they're gonna be home for a couple hours tho so we'll have to wait

_mother joseph is typing..._

mother joseph: that's ok I have patience

_jishua is typing..._

jishua: do you tho

jishua: do you really

_mother joseph is typing..._

mother joseph: I am both offended and hurt

mother joseph: I'm not so thirsty that I can't wait a couple hours to do you joshua

mother joseph: my name is not brendon urie

_jishua is typing..._

jishua: throwing that shade

Josh glanced over the top of his phone and smiled when he saw that Tyler was doing the same. They both blushed as they made eye contact, and Josh could feel Gerard's eyes on them as they stared at each other. Josh glanced back down at his phone as Tyler started typing again.

mother joseph: that wasn't awkward at all

_jishua is typing..._

jishua: noo

jishua: not at all

Josh was startled as the bell rang, signaling the end of second period. Dallon still wasn't back, and Josh had a feeling that he wouldn't be showing up to his third period either. He picked up his bag and books and met Gerard at the door as the two of them headed off to strength training.

Josh was a smiling mess as he lifted weights and thought about his and Tyler's conversation. He was a million miles away as he raised the barbell over his head and imagined what tomorrow was going to bring.

To tell the truth, he was kind of nervous. Even though he wasn't a virgin--that was a story for another day--he'd never had time to anticipate what sex was going to be like before it happened, and all the possibilities were kind of intimidating, if he was being honest.

Thankfully, Gerard didn't bother him during that period, and Josh was left alone with his thoughts. Afterwards, they walked to the showers together to rinse off and change out of their workout clothes. They headed to the cafeteria for lunch, where they were greeted at the door by a smirking Frank and a very disgruntled Tyler.

Lunch was, to say the least, interesting. Things between Brendon and Dallon were, if not back to normal, then even better than they had been before their fight. The two had squished their chairs as close together as possible and had their heads pressed together in a private conversation as Josh and Tyler approached the table. Brendon spotted them out of the corner of his eye and pulled his head away from Dallon to point at them and say, "Lookit, it's those homosexuals from Lit class!"

"Lookit, it's those kinky assholes from the bathroom!" Tyler countered as he and Josh sat down. Josh laughed, and Brendon raised his hands in defeat.

"Ahh, you got us. Where did Frank go? We were having so much fun making him uncomfortable," Brendon asked. Dallon snorted.

" _You_ were having so much fun making him uncomfortable," he corrected, and Brendon shrugged.

"He was with Gerard. I think they were gonna get something to eat," Tyler informed Brendon, who rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Ugh, fine. I guess we'll just have to make you two uncomfortable instead."

"You can try," Tyler said smugly, and Brendon raised an eyebrow.

"Is that a challenge? If so, I accept," he said, and with that, he leaned further into Dallon, stuck out his tongue, and licked a stripe across Dallon's cheek all the way down to his chin. Dallon recoiled and slapped Brendon's hand away, giggling.

Tyler sucked in a breath and said in a low, exaggerated voice, "Oh, fuck yeah. _Daddy_."

Brendon winked at him and wiped his mouth with his sleeve, nodding at the group of people that was pulling out chairs and joining them at their table.

Frank sat on the other side of Josh, and Gerard sat on the other side of him. Pete sat on the far end past them, across from Patrick. Melanie sat down across from Josh. The two shared a knowing glance as Mikey approached the table, took one look at the only open seat next to Pete, and pulled up a chair at the other end and sat next to Brendon.

It was a shitshow. From Brendon and Dallon sitting on each other and forcing everyone to put up with their post-coital glow to Mikey shooting not-so-discreet glares at Pete from the other end of the table, Josh couldn't even remember to buy a lunch. He left the cafeteria feeling drained and even hungrier than before and headed to physics.

It was a boring class, as usual, since none of Josh's friends were in it with him. The group chat was also dead, mostly because Tyler was in Music Theory and Brendon was in Improv,  
and they were the ones who really kept the chat going. Josh suffered through the class in silence before heading to his last class of the day, American History.

He, Patrick, and Frank had a fun time researching Confederate generals from the Civil War for an hour. Afterwards, they sat in their seats and chatted quietly with each other about their plans for after school, and then the weekend. Josh felt a pang of guilt as Patrick talked animatedly about how he and Pete were going to see a movie later tonight. Even Pete's best friend was clueless about his relationship status, and Josh felt kind of bad for what he was going to do to Pete later as Patrick spoke so happily about him. But then Josh remembered how shitty Pete had been acting towards Mikey, and the guilt quickly went away.

Finally, school was over. The last bell had rung, and since Josh hadn't eaten anything at lunch, he was starving. As he speedwalked down the main hallway towards the back doors of the building, he spotted Pete standing at his locker, and suddenly, inspiration struck as he remembered his and Melanie's agreement in the library this morning.

"Hey, Pete!" Josh called, and he waved as Pete looked up in confusion, searching for whoever had yelled at him. When he spotted Josh, his face broke into a grin, and he quickly shut his locker and bounded to where Josh was standing.

"Hey, Josh!" He exclaimed, smiling widely. "What's up?"

"I'm hungry as fuck is what's up, and I'm going to Taco Bell for some damn chalupas. Do you want to come?" Josh asked, wincing at the prospect of wasting perfectly good money on tacos for this little asshole, but decided that it was worth it, as Pete happily took the bait and said, "Sure! I've got all my stuff, so we can go now if you wanna."

"Alright. I park out back," Josh said, and the two of them left through the back doors and walked across the slushy ground towards Josh's car. Out of instinct, Josh looked for Gerard's van as they trotted across the pavement together, and frowned when he saw the empty parking spot where the stoner mobile usually sat. Gerard must have taken off already, probably with Frank.

They climbed into the car, and Josh quickly turned up the heat to get warm. Pete settled down in his seat and pulled out his phone, checking his social media. Josh's own phone buzzed, and he saw that the message he'd just received was from Melanie. He rapidly unlocked his phone so Pete wouldn't see and opened Kik to see what she wanted.

crybaby: hey im with mikey do you know where pete is you could talk to him now if you can find him

_jishua is typing..._

jishua: yeah I know he's in my car we're going to taco bell

_crybaby is typing..._

crybaby: WHAT

crybaby: JOSH

crybaby: WHAT THE FUCK

_jishua is typing..._

jishua: melanie clam down

jishua: you said corner him so he can't escape and he can hardly jump out of my car onto the highway can he

_crybaby is typing..._

crybaby: well I mean I guess not

crybaby: but you're taking him to taco bell wtf fuck dude

_jishua is typing..._

jishua: I'm not getting all buddy buddy with him im gonna fuckin talk to him now and see how it goes

_crybaby is typing..._

crybaby: well make it quick

crybaby: and don't buy him shit unless its off the dollar menu his ass don't deserve anything better

_jishua is typing..._

jishua: rest your troubles my dear sweet milk monkey I've got this

Josh set his phone in one of the cupholders and put the car in reverse, backing out of his parking spot and driving out of the parking lot. He couldn't think of a better conversation starter, so he sighed and said, "So. Pete."

"Hmm?" Pete raised his eyebrows as he stared at his phone, only half-listening to Josh. "What's up?"

Josh took a deep breath. "I want to talk about Mikey."

"Oh." That got his attention. Josh heard him swallow nervously. "Uh.What about Mikey?"

"I want to talk about why you've been such an ass to him lately."

"What--I don't--" When Josh glanced over, Pete's knuckles were white from gripping the handle on the car door, and he had a fake-confused smile plastered on his face. "I haven't been--"

"Oh, cut the shit, Pete. I know everything," Josh said in exasperation. Pete stared at him with a dismayed expression on his face.

"What--" he choked, "How--"

"Mikey had a breakdown yesterday. Melanie found him in the library," Josh explained. "He told her everything, and she told me."

Pete seemed unable to speak. He gaped at Josh as he turned onto the highway and hit the gas before turning to say, "You're lucky I don't kick your ass right now, Pete."

"Josh--" Pete's voice cracked, and he swallowed quickly, "--you gotta understand, man. Mikey, he--"

"Oh, no. None of that bullshit where you try and blame everything on him. I'm not gonna have it," Josh interrupted. Pete swallowed again, eyes darting around wildly as he searched for another excuse.

"Look, man, I know it's shitty, but he--he doesn't--"

"Pete," Josh warned, and maybe there was something threatening about pink hair, because Pete seemed to shrink beneath Josh's glare. And then, of all the things he could have done, Pete did what Josh was least expecting: he started to cry.

"Pete--" Josh asked, thoroughly bewildered, "What--"

"I di-dn't want to," Pete bawled, hands wringing so tightly Josh was afraid he was going to lose circulation in his fingers. "I didn't wa-ant to tell him off like tha-at. But h-e kept talkin' 'bout how he wa-anted to t-ell people 'n I panicked. I got scared 'cause I kno-w my mom 'n dad aren't g-onna be cool with it, 'n they'll ki-ick me outta the house if they find out, 'n--"

"Pete. Hey. I need you to calm down, alright?" Josh interrupted with the most soothing voice he could manage. "Quit crying. It's gonna be okay."

Once Pete had settled down some, save for the occasional hiccup and wipe of nose with sleeve, Josh asked, "Have you told Mikey any of this?"

"No," Pete mumbled, "I didn't wanna scare him off. Nobody wants to date the kid whose parents'll hate 'em. I didn't want to burden him with it 'n stuff."

 _Well, look how that worked out_ , Josh thought, and said, "I think you need to tell him. He's getting really freaked out."

"I _tried_ ," Pete said desperately. "I texted him last night and he never answered."

"Are you kidding me? You _texted_ him? You're literally the biggest dumbass I know, Pete," Josh sighed. "You can't just text somebody shit like that. You need to talk to him in person."

Pete sniffed. "I don't know if I can."

Suddenly, Josh had an idea. He'd had a lot of those today. "Hey. Is he still going to that mixer tomorrow night that you guys were talking about?"

Pete shrugged. "Dunno. Haven't exactly been talking to him, in case you haven't noticed."

"No need to be a smartass about it. I'll ask Melanie." Josh whipped out his phone and opened Kik.

_jishua is typing..._

jishua: hey are you still takin mikey to the mixer on friday

_crybaby is typing..._

crybaby: yeah I am but dude i have news

crybaby: mikey just told me that what set him off yesterday was pete flirting with some girl by his locker

Josh narrowed his eyes at his phone as Pete nervously fidgeted in his seat. He flinched as Josh placed his phone back in the cupholder and turned the glare at him sharply.

"W-what?" Pete asked hesitantly.

"Is that true?"

"Is what true?"

"Is it true that yesterday, Mikey saw you flirting with a girl in front of your locker when you knew he was watching?"

The phrase "deer in the headlights" had never been so appropriate. Pete looked absolutely stunned at the accusation, but quickly lowered his eyes in shame.

"Yeah, I was," he replied quietly, and Josh almost stopped the car in the middle of the highway and pushed Mikey out of the passenger door into the oncoming traffic.

"Pete, _why_? Why the fuck would you do that?"

"Because I don't want to hurt him!" Pete burst out. "I don't want him to get stuck with me and not realize that he's fucked until it's too late. I guess...I mean, I guess I wanted to give him a reason to hate me and break up with me now so he doesn't get hurt later on when he gets in too deep. I'm not good for him, Josh. I'm fucked, my family is fucked, and I don't want to drag him into it. He deserves so much better than me."

"Oh." Josh was silent as he took the exit into town and pulled into the Taco Bell parking lot. "Pete, if you really believe it, then you really are the biggest dumbass I know."

Pete stared at him indignantly. "What the fuck do you mean by that?"

"You're not bad for him, Pete. I might be literally the worst person on earth at picking up signals, but I'm pretty sure if Mikey was gonna ditch you, he would've done it already. You said you don't want him to get in too deep, but he already _is_. That kid fucking loves you, Pete. He loves the shit out of you, and if you're too selfish to see that, then that's on you."

When Pete remained silent, Josh continued, "I know you don't want to break up with him. I know that's not what you want, and it's definitely not what he wants. You need to fix this before it's too late."

"I know," Pete said quietly as he stared at his hands folded in his lap. "I know. I just...I don't know how."

"Well, Melanie said he's going to the mixer, right? You can meet him there. Corner him somewhere where he can't get away and explain yourself. Work this shit out, dude."

"But what if that doesn't work?"

"Well, yeah, but what if it does?"

Pete frowned, and Josh sighed. "Besides, what other options do you have?"

Pete bit his lip. "I guess it won't hurt to try."

Josh failed to fight off a huge smile. "Thank God. I can give you a ride, too, if you want. To the mixer, I mean."

"Thanks, but I think I'll probably get Patrick to do it. He won't mind."

Josh shrugged. "That's fine." They pulled forward into the drive-thru, and the tinny voice from the speaker said, "Welcome to Taco Bell, may I take your order?"

Josh and Pete ordered their tacos and sat in the parking lot together as they ate their meal. Josh had produced two beers from the backseat, which Pete approved of, so they drank them and talked for hours until the sun was almost completely set on the horizon. They weren't drunk, just a little buzzed, and finally, Josh cleared his throat and said, "Maybe we should get home. I got a curfew."

"Me too," Pete sighed, staring longingly at the sunset. "Oh, God, what am I gonna do tomorrow?"

"What you gotta," Josh replied as he balled up a wrapper and threw it into the backseat. He turned back around and was met with Pete's questioning expression.

"What?" He said apprehensively.

Pete opened his mouth and hesitated, before quietly asking, "Should we kiss?"

Josh blinked, shocked, and said, " _What_?"

"Well, should we?"

"I mean--" Josh swallowed. "Why?"

"Why not?"

Josh would have listed a million reasons, if he could have thought of them. His mind, however, was too jumbled for him to think reasonably, and the alcohol certainly wasn't helping, so he said, "Well, I--I _guess_ we can."

"Well, just--lean in, then," Pete said, so with a soft giggle, Josh leaned forward across the center console and closed his eyes.

The kiss was short and a little sloppy, if Josh was being honest. It lasted only a few seconds, and when Josh pulled away, Pete opened his eyes, and they stared at each other in silence for a heartbeat before erupting into laughter.

"That--" Pete gasped, clutching his stomach, "That was--"

"I know!" Josh exclaimed. "That was fucking wild! What are we _doing_?"

"Ugh, I don't _know_ ," Pete groaned, covering his face with his hands. "What was I _thinking_? We're never speaking of this again."

"Agreed." Josh wiped a tear from his eye and started the car. "Sheesh. What the _fuck_ , though?"

"Dude, I don't even know. I have no clue where that came from," Pete said as he slumped in his seat, shoulders still shaking from giggles. "If you ever bring this up, and I mean _ever_ \--"

"Hey, I'd be in just as much shit as you would! Tyler--shit, Tyler would fucking _murder_ me. Why would I throw myself under the bus like that?" Josh asked rhetorically, and Pete nodded in understanding.

"Okay, I got it, but seriously. You gotta promise. We're never gonna speak of this again."

"But seriously. I heard you the first three times. I won't bring it up if you don't."

"Okay, okay." Pete exhaled, shoulders slumping down. "My street's the next turn, here."

Josh and Pete sat in silence for the last couple minutes of the ride, save for the radio playing softly in the background. When Josh pulled up in front of Pete's house, Pete grabbed his bag and climbed out of the car before turning to smile crookedly and wave at Josh.

"This was good. We should do this again sometime," he said, and his eyes widened as his brain caught up with his words. "Oh, fuck, dude, that's not what I meant!"

"Calm down, Pete. I understand," Josh laughed. Pete blushed and nodded, biting his lip.

"So, I guess I'll see you tomorrow, then," he said, and Josh smiled.

"I guess so."

"So. Have a good night, I guess. God, this is so awkward now!" Pete groaned, and Josh laughed.

"You're telling me. We just need to chill," he said, and Pete nodded.

"Yeah. Chill. I'll see you tomorrow, and I'll be chill."

"Sounds like a plan." Josh smiled sincerely. "Good night, Pete."

"Good night, Josh."

Josh waited until Pete was safely inside his house before groaning and throwing his head backwards against the headrest. He covered his eyes with his hands and laughed to himself as his phone buzzed in the cupholder.

Perfect timing, as usual, Josh thought as he opened Kik.

crybaby: so how did it go

_jishua is typing..._

jishua: fuck

_crybaby is typing..._

crybaby: that wild huh

_jishua is typing..._

jishua: I don't wanna talk about it

jishua: pete's gonna meet mikey at the mixer and corner him and talk to him there

jishua: that's all I'm gonna say

_crybaby is typing..._

crybaby: :)

By the time Josh got home, he was completely, totally, and utterly drained. His siblings were all up in their rooms, and his parents greeted him in the kitchen with a smile as he grabbed a box of Cheez-Its and headed upstairs to his bedroom. He scrolled through his Instagram feed and munched on the snack as he tried not to think about everything had happened today.

Eventually, he couldn't take it any more, and his eyes began to droop shut. He fell asleep around 10:30, still in his jeans with a box of Cheez-Its clutched to his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what was that ending??? who knows?? not me all I know is that this fic is a fuckign mess
> 
> i don't know when the next update's gonna be up lol but i'm tryin my best u guys this story is hard to write there's so many different plot lines to keep up with it's ridiculous but rest assured i'm not gonna abandon it until it's done
> 
> pls leave me a comment I'm lonely and insecure and need confirmation that this isn't total shit
> 
> happy easter n happy early birthday cars ur the bestest
> 
> edit: Instagram usernames!! comment ur insta user n I'll check u out ;))


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